


here comes the sun

by woodchoc_magnum



Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [21]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Domestic Fluff, Firehouse 118 Crew as Family (9-1-1 TV), M/M, Married Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Worried Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29353383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodchoc_magnum/pseuds/woodchoc_magnum
Summary: In which Eddie struggles in the aftermath of the incident at the Santa Monica Pier, and Buck slowly brings him back to life.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816843
Comments: 131
Kudos: 401





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I very nearly went with the title _How Eddie Diaz Got His Groove Back_ but I resisted.
> 
> This is the third in the "Cooper Arc" of fics in this series. If you haven't, you should read [a stormy sea of love and emotion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29040612/chapters/71278932) before you read this, as that story directly leads into this one.
> 
> And please enjoy!

"Please do not tell me one of you was in that car that went over the side of the pier," Sophia demanded.

They were walking up the front pathway together – Buck had an arm around Eddie's waist, supporting him as they made their way to the house. The hospital had given him a clean bill of health, but Eddie hadn't spoken much since they'd left the pier, other than to answer the doctor's questions.

Even on their return to the station, when Bobby pulled them both aside to chat, Eddie had let Buck do most of the talking, and simply stood with his arms folded across his chest, staring at the floor.

Buck was trying not to fret, but the silence was deafening.

He just nodded at her, letting Eddie step over the threshold and into the house. "Yeah, he was, but he's okay. Can you do me a favour, Soph? We need to clean up, and then Eddie needs some rest. Can you order some food or—"

"I'm cooking; it's okay," she said, holding the door open for them. "Christopher and Carla are still at his swim lesson, and my kids are playing in your backyard. Are you okay, Eddie?"

He nodded, bending over to remove his shoes with shaking hands. Buck hesitated a moment, and then knelt to help him, and Eddie leaned against the wall, exhausted. Buck lined their shoes along the rack and stood, taking Eddie's hand. "We'll be upstairs," he said to Sophia, who nodded, her eyes trained on Eddie worriedly. "Let me know when Chris gets home."

"Okay. Eddie, are you all right?" she demanded, grasping his shoulders.

He tried to smile. "Yeah, I'm just tired."

"What exactly happened?"

Eddie gave Buck a sharp look, and Buck said, "We're just wiped out; we were both underwater a long time and the current was really strong. That's all."

She looked unconvinced but released him. "Okay. Get some rest."

Eddie began to climb the stairs, and then wobbled unsteadily, grasping the railing for support. Buck followed behind, and when they reached the top, Eddie leaned against the wall, gave him an exhausted look and said quietly, "Baby, I need you."

Buck nodded, on the verge of tears, pulling Eddie into his arms. "I'm here. What do you want?"

"To warm up."

"Okay, let's do that." Buck took his hand and led him into the bathroom. "Shower or bath?"

Eddie looked back and forth between the two and finally said, "Bath."

"Okay, sit down and take it easy while I get this ready."

"Buck, just…" Eddie leaned against the sink, his head lowered. "You're freaking out, and I'm freaking out, and I just need you to stop and just… hug me? Please?"

Buck _was_ freaking out. His heart hadn't slowed down since they'd brought Eddie back from the brink, and even now, in their bathroom with Eddie standing in front of him, living and breathing and _alive_ , he couldn't shake the image of his lifeless body from his mind.

So he pulled him in for a hug, pressing a kiss to his forehead before sliding his arms around his back. Eddie sagged against him, sighing, clutching his shirt in clenched fists.

"Too close," Eddie whispered after a moment. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. You saved their lives."

"I should've secured the car."

"Cooper should've done what you _asked_ him to do," Buck pointed out.

"No, it was my responsibility and I failed." Eddie's voice was flat. "I nearly lost everything because I made a stupid mistake."

"You can't blame yourself—"

"What, I'm gonna blame him? He's a stupid kid; I never should've trusted him to do the right thing in the first place," Eddie said bitterly, pulling out of the hug. "God, I'm so _angry._ "

Buck took a step back, regarding him seriously. "Eds – we don't know why he didn't do what he was told, but the point is that you gave him an order and he disobeyed it. And you were in the car – did you think the old man was going to stomp his foot on the gas and take off again?"

Eddie shook his head. There were dark circles under his eyes, and Buck was worried again at how exhausted he looked. "He was out of it, and… in the back of my mind I knew Cooper was putting the wheel locks on. When the car took off, I was surprised by it, you know?"

"Cooper is the one in trouble here, not you," Buck pointed out, but Eddie grimaced and looked away. "And I know it's not about that but listen to me – you gave him an order and he didn't do what you asked. Here's the difference between me and Cooper – when I was a rookie, if someone gave me an order, I did what I was told. I might've been a little shit stealing fire engines to meet up with girls, but when we were on the scene, and Bobby gave me an order, I obeyed it."

"But it's me," Eddie said to him tiredly. "I'm the problem. He doesn't like me; he doesn't respect me, and he doesn't listen to me."

"Bobby's gonna fire him."

"You don't know that. We don't know why he didn't do what he was told." Eddie raked a hand through his hair, closed his eyes briefly and then said, "Buck, I don't want to lose everything we have because some kid keeps fucking up. First it was you on the ropes, and now it's me in the water. And I don't think Bobby is going to fire him for this."

"He abandoned you—"

"Obviously, he had a reason to do it; he's not a monster. He's just dumb." Eddie swayed slightly, his eyelids fluttering shut. "God, I'm so tired."

Buck leaned over to turn the water on, filling the bathtub, and then began to undress Eddie carefully. "We're not going to lose everything," he said quietly, and Eddie gazed up at him with dark, unreadable eyes. "You and me, we're going to die on the same day, when we're old men. That's just a fact."

Eddie closed his eyes, nodding. "Okay."

"We'll figure it out, and everything will be okay," Buck said, hoping he sounded reassuring. "We're going to be okay."

"Better be," Eddie mumbled.

When they were both naked, and the water was ready, Buck slipped in first, spreading his legs so Eddie could nestle in between them. Adriana had sent them a housewarming present, which was mostly full of joke gifts, like chocolate body paint and a pair of fluffy handcuffs (that Eddie had to quickly hide before Christopher could see them), but one of the things she'd included was a jar of fancy bath salts.

Not that they used the bath often, but sometimes after a long shift, they would settle in and soak together to soothe their aching muscles. Buck was a fan of the lavender bath salts, so he sprinkled them in the water, and as the floral fragrance filled the air, he grabbed a bottle of shampoo, poured some in his hands, and began to massage Eddie's scalp.

Eddie let out a low moan, leaning back. "Mmm."

Buck tilted his head to the side and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of his neck, before gently resuming his massage, and smiled when he realised Eddie had broken out into goosebumps. "You love this."

"Mmm _hmm_ ," Eddie agreed, his eyes closed. "Don't stop."

He continued for a few more minutes, before pouring warm water over Eddie's head to rinse his hair. When that was done, he was about to continue his massage, but Eddie turned his head to the side and kissed him desperately, shifting in the bath to allow Buck more access.

Buck kissed him back, trying to force the image of his lifeless body out of his mind. _I'll always save you, my love._

~

He put Eddie to bed after their bath, making sure he was tucked in and sufficiently warm. Eddie was too tired to argue about anything, and he was asleep when Buck left the room, heading down to check on Sophia.

"He's not home yet," she said, glancing out to the living room, where her kids were watching TV. "He shouldn’t be too far away."

"No, I know, I'm just grabbing some water and something to eat." Buck took a couple of bottles of water out of the fridge and a banana from the bowl, leaning against the doorway as he peeled it. "Is it on the news?"

"Yeah, someone even had footage of the car going over the pier." Sophia chewed her fingernail, gazing at him worriedly. "Is Eddie okay?"

"He nearly drowned." Buck fought his emotions, and then took a bite of the banana. "But he's okay now. I saved him."

She nodded, frowning deeply, and then asked, "Are you okay?"

Buck shrugged, on the verge of tears. "I have to be, don't I? He's my husband; I have to be strong. It wouldn't have been so close if he hadn't gotten caught up on the car; it would've been okay… it was just a freak accident. Besides, I can't lose my shit in front of Bobby. We want to keep working together, so I have to be cool."

"Well, you can lose your shit here, if you want," she offered, holding her arms out. "Give me a hug."

Buck let out a tired laugh and stepped into her embrace. "Thanks."

"It's okay." Sophia patted his back. "You know, I never really worry about either of you – I know you have each other. I know Eddie will be okay as long as you're around."

"I keep trying my best." Buck kissed her on the cheek and released her. "I'm going to have a rest with him. You're okay here?"

"Yeah, go on. I'll talk to Carla and Christopher when they get here."

He left her in the kitchen and trudged back upstairs to the bedroom. Eddie was on his side, snoring lightly, and Buck slipped under the covers behind him and wrapped an arm around his chest, pulling him in close. Eddie murmured in his sleep, and when Buck kissed the back of his neck, he let out a long sigh.

"I've got you," Buck whispered in his ear. "I've got you, Eds. Sleep."

* * *

Eddie awoke feeling as though he'd been hit by a truck. The room was dark, but he wasn't alone – Buck was curled up around him, sleeping soundly. He shifted onto his back, reaching a hand up to caress Buck's face, and then slowly sat up. It was late, after seven, and he wondered about Christopher when he heard a soft, "Hi, Dad."

Christopher was seated on the floor beside the bed, illuminated by the glow of his iPad, smiling up at him. Max was on his lap, purring loudly.

"Hey," he whispered, throwing the covers off. "What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for you to wake up."

Eddie slid off the bed and settled in beside him, pulling him in for a hug. "How was school?"

"It was okay. We watched a show at school today about otters," Christopher said, patting Max gently. "It was so cool. They use rocks to break clams open and stuff."

"They have otters at the zoo; we should go look at them again," Eddie suggested. "We could bring Soph and the kids."

"No," Christopher said, draping his arm across Eddie's knees. "Just us three."

"You sick of your cousins already?"

"I miss the quiet," he remarked. "And Max doesn't like them."

Max let out a soft ' _mrow_ ', apparently in agreement with his human.

"Eddie," Buck suddenly gasped, sitting straight up in bed. "Eds?"

"I'm here, babe," he replied, reaching over to pat the bed. "Chris and I are here."

"Oh." Buck rubbed his eyes, and then draped himself across the bed on his stomach, gazing down at them. "Hey, kiddo," he said, his voice still thick with sleep. "You hungry?"

"Starved," Christopher remarked. "Why are you both in bed?"

"We had a rough day at work, and we were both tired," Eddie explained. "But we're okay now. Let's get some dinner."

"You want a piggyback, Chris?" Buck offered.

Christopher grinned and said, "Okay, but I'm getting _too big._ "

"No, you're not. If I can carry your dad around, I can for sure pick you up," Buck replied, sliding off the bed. "Come on, kiddo."

He knelt so Christopher could clamber onto his back, and then stood. Eddie couldn't help but pull them both in for a hug, pressing his face against Buck's shoulder.

"We're okay, Daddy," Christopher said softly. "Everything's okay."

He lifted his head, nodding, and cleared his throat. "Okay. Let's go."

~

Sophia had prepared dinner, and all they needed to do was heat it up. Buck took charge while Eddie set the table – he was still feeling a little shaky but trying not to focus on how close he'd come. That part he had no memory of; it was like he'd simply been asleep for a minute before waking up on the boat.

It was the moments before that haunted him - when he'd taken that first involuntary breath of water and realised the inevitability of his situation. He was drowning, Buck was on his way to the surface with the old man, and he was trapped.

And even with the knowledge that he was drowning, he was still fighting, clawing, trying to free his foot, and then, as his vision blurred, a sense of calm washed over him. Acceptance, and then nothing.

"Eddie," Buck said softly, and he jumped, startled, turning to face him. "You okay?"

He nodded, taking a bowl of bread rolls from Buck's hands, and setting it on the table. Christopher had a worried expression on his face as well, so Eddie ruffled his hair and then picked Max up off the floor and placed him on the spare chair at the table, before taking a seat as well.

He was buttering a bread roll for Christopher when the doorbell rang, and before he could stand, Sophia shouted that she would answer it. Eddie relaxed, passing the roll over to Christopher.

Buck returned from the kitchen and set a bowl of pozole down in front of Christopher and one on Eddie's placemat, and then went back for his own. Eddie had only taken one spoonful when Bobby appeared in the doorway to the dining room.

"Evening," he greeted them, and sniffed the air. "What smells so good?"

"Soph made pozole – do you want a bowl?" Buck asked him. "There's plenty left over."

"Ordinarily I'd say no, but I haven't had a chance to eat, and I'm starving," he admitted. "Is that okay?"

"Sure thing; take a seat." Buck went back into the kitchen.

Bobby evicted Max from the chair and sat down beside Eddie, resting a hand on his shoulder. "How'd you go at the hospital?"

Eddie nodded. "Clean bill of health."

"Good to hear. And how are you, Christopher?" Bobby asked, smiling warmly at him. "How's school?"

"It's good," Christopher replied, non-committal. "I hate math."

"We're working on that," Eddie corrected, brushing Christopher's hair off his head. "We've got a plan; we're going to figure out math."

Christopher shrugged. "I won't need it."

"You'll need math," Buck said as he returned from the kitchen, and set a bowl of soup in front of Bobby. "Dig in, Cap. What'd we miss this afternoon?"

* * *

**Bobby**

_Five hours earlier_

The ambulance pulled away from the curb, and Bobby turned to Hen and Chimney with his hands on his hips. "Where is Cooper?"

"He's…" Chimney trailed off, looking around. "Ah – over there, with the rest of the crew."

Bobby turned to look, watching as Cooper helped to load a victim into an awaiting ambulance. "I can't strangle him here, can I?"

"No Cap, there are cameras present. It wouldn't be a good idea," Hen replied.

"And I think Eddie… should've probably pulled the parking brake," Chimney said, though a flash of guilt crossed his face. "But I understand why he didn't, and we weren't in the car with him. He must've thought he had it under control."

"Yeah, well, he nearly died," Bobby said bitterly. "And I'm sick of almost losing people because of stupid mistakes. Do not let Cooper out of your sight, okay? I have to deal with this, but I need both of you keeping an eye on him."

"We're on it, Cap," Hen said, exchanging a look with Chimney. "We'll make sure he doesn't screw anything else up."

"Yep." Annoyed, Bobby strode over to the incident command centre. He'd have to deal with the Chief, who would no doubt be asking questions as to how one of his firefighters was almost killed – and some of the blame had to be laid with Eddie, but it was _Eddie_. And Bobby guessed he'd had a pretty good reason for not securing the car from the inside.

~

The situation was under control when Bobby finally grabbed Cooper by the arm and hauled him over behind the fire truck. Cooper looked absolutely terrified, and his reaction was a dead giveaway. He'd fucked up, and he knew it.

"Tell me what happened," Bobby said sternly.

"I'm so sorry, Cap," Cooper began to apologise, on the verge of tears. "I'm so sorry. It's my fault. Eddie asked me to get the wheel locks, and I was on my way to the truck, but I saw this man trapped under some debris and I had to help free him… and then I looked up and the car was flying over the edge. It's my fault."

Bobby took a deep breath and said, "When Eddie gives you an order, you do what he says. Were there other people around who could've assisted the victim?"

Cooper nodded. "But I—"

"Then you _ask someone else_ , because you have a task to complete," Bobby said sharply. "Eddie asked you to get the wheel locks. He expected you to do your job so he could do _his job inside the vehicle._ If he'd been seriously injured today, I would've placed the blame squarely on you. You're on probation, Cooper – you're already unpopular with some of the other members of the team, and now this incident has me seriously questioning whether this job is right for you. Take the rest of the afternoon off. I need some time to think about how to deal with you."

Cooper's eyes filled with tears. "Cap, I'm sorry," he said weakly. "I'll apologise to Eddie."

"Yes, you will. Now go wait in the truck until we're ready to go; you're done for the day."

Cooper sniffled, hurrying away, his head down.

Bobby took a deep breath, trying to calm down, and jumped with fright when Hen strode around the side of the truck. "Jesus, Hen. You need to start wearing a bell."

"Sorry," she apologised, loading a bag into the cabinet on the side of the truck. "I couldn't help but overhear. You remember what Buck was like when he first started?"

Bobby sighed. "Yes."

"Well, Cooper's worse. He's nowhere near as smart as Buck, for one, and he gets distracted by anyone remotely good-looking." Hen slammed the cabinet shut. "Do I think he's a lost cause? No, but… the 118 may not be the right fit for him, either."

Bobby rested his hands on his hips. "Well, I'm starting to think the same thing."

* * *

"By some miracle it looks like there won't be any casualties," Bobby said to Buck, who nodded. "I think it was lucky we were in the vicinity. We were able to transport some of the more serious injuries to hospital without delay. The old couple as well, Eddie – they're both going to make it. Athena spoke to the doctor, who thinks the husband might have had a mild stroke."

"He was really confused," Eddie replied. "He didn't know where we were."

"Well, that tracks." Bobby had another mouthful of soup, smacked his lips and said, "This is delicious."

Buck jerked his thumb towards the kitchen. "That's the only nice thing about having Soph around."

"Excuse me," her voice wafted out to meet them. "I heard that."

Buck grinned at Bobby, and then glanced at Eddie, inwardly concerned. Eddie was staring off into space, a dark look on his face.

"I've changed the roster for tomorrow, to give you both the day off," Bobby said, to Buck's surprise. "Today was a rough one."

"Thanks, Cap," he said.

"I can work," Eddie protested. "I'm okay."

Bobby shook his head. "No, I'm ordering you to have the day off. We can talk when you're back at work. I'd like to work out a timeline and figure out… what went wrong."

"It was me," Eddie said quietly. "Blame it on me."

Buck went to protest, but Bobby said, "We'll talk about it later, Eddie. Not right now. Not in front of Christopher."

Eddie nodded, struggling to control his emotions. They were silent for a moment, until he cleared his throat and said, "Sorry, I'll just be right back," before rising to his feet and hurrying to the stairs.

Buck stood to follow him, but Bobby reached out and touched his arm. "Let him have a moment."

"But…"

"Just give him a moment, Buck. That's all."

* * *

Eddie closed the door to the bedroom and went to sit on the end of the bed, clenching and unclenching his fists. Waves of panic were rolling over him, and he couldn't shake the feeling of water, in his lungs, choking him – the blackness closing in.

The acceptance.

He'd fucking _accepted it._

After everything they'd been through, he'd just closed his eyes and accepted death, and Buck had brought him back. It felt like he'd blinked out of existence for less than a minute, but maybe he'd changed forever.

He'd only been alone for a few minutes when there was a soft knock on the door, and to his surprise, Bobby poked his head in. "I hope you don't mind," he said. "Buck's freaking out, but… I need to talk to you alone."

"Can you wait until tomorrow to lecture me?" Eddie asked hoarsely. "I know I fucked up."

"This isn't about that." Bobby stepped into the room and closed the door, gazing at Eddie worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Tears filled his eyes before he could control himself. He took a deep breath, prepared to lie and say that he was fine, when the truth came pouring out. "No, I'm not. I'm really not. I just keep replaying it in my head. Why didn't I pull the parking brake? Why didn't I take the keys out of the ignition? The old guy was confused and I could see that, but… I didn't immobilise the car. What was I thinking?"

"You were thinking that you asked Cooper to do something, and that he would do what you asked," Bobby replied reasonably. "And he didn't."

"What the hell happened, Cap? He completely abandoned his training, and I know he was helping someone else, but—"

"He's young, and easily distracted, and when he saw the trapped person, he stopped to help. The victim was seriously injured, and Cooper's intervention undoubtedly saved his life, but still, that doesn't excuse him ignoring your orders. The Chief wants me to launch a full investigation—"

Eddie pressed his hands to his head miserably.

"Eddie, you're not in trouble."

"I am," he said helplessly. "Because I should've immobilised the car as soon as I was inside."

"Then why didn't you?" Bobby asked. "Walk me through it."

Eddie spotted a shadow moving at the bottom of the door – Buck, no doubt, hovering outside. He rubbed his face again and said, "I asked Cooper to get the wheel locks. The driver wouldn't open his door or roll down the window; he tried to shoo me away, but the back door was unlocked so I got in. I asked him to turn the car off and I tried to put the parking brake on, but he was confused and kept arguing with me. Then he started shouting that I was robbing them and stomped on the gas, and I went flying in the backseat before I could stop him."

"You asked Cooper to get the wheel locks – that was the first thing you did?"

Eddie nodded wearily.

"Then you had an expectation that the person working with you was doing their part of the job, which is why you proceeded the way you did," Bobby explained. "He didn't have your back."

Tears suddenly filled his eyes – he pictured Buck, swimming towards him; Buck looming over him as he opened his eyes and coughed out a lungful of water. The person who had always had his back was Buck.

"No," he said, struggling to contain his emotions. "He didn't."

"Because you two don't like each other."

"No." Eddie wiped his eyes. "We don't."

"Okay." Bobby sighed, looking around the room – his gaze fell upon the friendship lamp on the bedside table, and he said, "Is that one of those long distance friendship lamps? Do you have it for your family in El Paso?"

Eddie glanced over his shoulder, and shook his head. "No. Christopher has the other one in his room, so we can say goodnight. We also have walkie-talkies."

"Ah. Because he's downstairs now," Bobby said knowingly. "How often do you use the walkie-talkies?"

He managed a laugh, shaking his head. "Not that much, but sometimes if he wakes up before we do, he'll make farting noises into it until Buck responds to him. It's their thing."

"Buck's really settled into fatherhood, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, he has. We're talking about having some more." Eddie cleared his throat and stood, trying to smile at Bobby. "So I can't die on the job."

Bobby nodded. "You're not going to. I'm sorry about today – I'm sorry it came as close as it did. If you want to book in to speak to someone, just let me know."

He sighed. "Yeah, maybe. Maybe, I don't know."

"I know how much you hate therapy, but… if you're feeling overwhelmed; if you're not coping – think of Buck and Christopher and do it for them. They need you."

He hadn't thought of it like that, and gave a nod. "Okay, I'll think it over."

"Good. Come on – your husband is waiting, and the food's getting cold."

* * *

Bobby left after dinner, and Buck kept a close eye on Eddie as they went about their nightly chores. Everyone else was asleep in bed, and Buck was about to flick off the light and head upstairs as well when Eddie grabbed his hand and led him out to the backyard.

He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, and then thought the better of it, waiting for Eddie to speak. They hadn't done much with the backyard except bring the grass back to life, but there were plants that needed pruning, weeds growing in the garden and a dozen other things that needed attention.

Eddie had his hands on his hips, looking around, and finally said, "I want to rip out all of these plants – except the big bushes in the corners. They can stay."

Buck looked around, and then nodded. "Okay," he said cautiously. "What's brought this on?"

"We have tomorrow off, and I need something to do. I want to go to a garden centre and get cacti, but first, we need to rip all these out."

"Is your obsession with cacti a Texan thing?" Buck asked, confused.

"Maybe. Is that okay?"

"Well, I'm thinking about us having kids," Buck said delicately, "so I'm thinking spiky cacti might not be the right thing, but we could find other plants that don't require a lot of water and upkeep to put in. Succulents, aloe vera – maybe?"

"I want one spiky cactus," Eddie said firmly.

Buck grinned. "Okay, one."

"A big one." Eddie looked around again. "And I want a hammock."

"We can get a hammock." Buck pulled him in for a hug, swaying from side to side. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Eddie's voice was low. "I'm all right."

Buck didn't quite believe him, but he kissed his forehead and rubbed his back. "So you want to work in the garden tomorrow."

"Yep. We've been neglecting it." Eddie met his eyes and admitted, "I just want to keep busy."

"Okay." Buck kissed him again. "Come to bed."

Eddie nodded, and let Buck lead him upstairs to their bedroom – which was aglow in a soft pink from the lamp; Christopher's final goodnight for the evening.

Buck switched it off, perching on the edge of the bed, and taking off his watch. Eddie changed into his sleep shorts and flopped on his back on the bed, reaching out to walk his fingers up and down Buck's spine.

"What did you and Bobby talk about?" Buck asked curiously, as he plugged the charger into his phone.

"What happened in the car. Cooper."

"Do you think he's going to fire him?"

Eddie sighed. "I don't know. Cooper saved someone's life, but… is this enough reason for me to put my foot down and say that I don't want him paired up with either of us? Or am I going to look like a petty asshole because this kid is _trying_ , and he's _doing his best_ , and I'm being a prick for no reason?"

"No," Buck replied as he slid further onto the bed, and Eddie immediately cuddled up to him, resting his head on his chest. "You have more than enough reason now, and I think Bobby will understand."

"I hope so, because I don't think he's getting fired."

~

They spent the bulk of the next morning in the garden, tearing out weeds and plants, and stripping back the garden beds until there was almost nothing left. Buck had done some quick research about what plants suited a dry and warm environment (and didn't need a lot of water), so in the afternoon they took a trip to a nearby garden centre.

"You know I'm just going to kill whatever we put in," Eddie said, holding Buck's hand loosely as they wandered around, pushing a half-full cart.

"We're getting hardy plants, Eds. Not even you will be able to kill them." Buck kissed his cheek.

"Yeah, you underestimate my plant-killing abilities," he grumbled, but relented with a chuckle when Buck kissed him again.

A woman across the aisle began to openly stare at them, and feeling self-conscious, and worrying that Eddie would notice, Buck tried to block his view of her as they passed by. Eddie was distracted, reading through their list, and when they rounded the corner Buck breathed a sigh of relief.

"Um, so you know how you can get those hanging planters…" Eddie trailed off, thinking. "We've got a couple of hooks out the back – you think that might be a good idea?"

"Sure," Buck agreed. "We could put ferns in them or something."

"And I wanted to get a pot where we could put different kinds of succulents in, and it could be Christopher's responsibility," he continued. "You know how you can get those cute little ones?"

"Definitely." They came to a stop in front of a wall of hanging pots, and Buck grabbed a couple of burnt orange ones and added them to their cart. "Two for now, to see how they go?"

"Yep." Eddie consulted his list again. "Okay, let's find a big pot, and then pick some plants."

"You had to have this idea and give me no time to research, didn't you?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, I needed a project today."

"Fair enough." Buck kissed his temple, and Eddie smiled up at him warmly.

When they parted, Eddie wandered down the aisle and came to a stop in front of large, round ceramic pots, tapping his finger to his lips as he examined them. Buck watched him, leaning on the cart, and suddenly remembered that not twenty-four hours earlier Eddie had been lifeless in his arms. Now they were in a garden centre, and life was just… normal. Like it had never happened.

"Excuse me," a woman said sharply from behind him. "You're blocking the aisle."

Buck shot her an annoyed look – it was the same woman from earlier, and he quickly decided that he didn't want a confrontation. He moved his cart over to where Eddie was standing – Eddie, thankfully, hadn't heard her – and waited while he picked out a pot and held it up for his approval.

"I think you'll want something a little shallower," Buck suggested. "They don't need a lot of room to grow."

"Ah." Eddie found another – blue and white glazed ceramic, with a wide round opening, and held it up. "This is nice."

"Yeah, that one's good," Buck agreed, moving to the side as the woman passed them by. "Let's pick out some plants."

~

He relaxed once they were inside the plant centre, and easily found what they were looking for. Eddie zeroed in on the cactuses and picked out one that was medium-sized but would grow and also bloom with flowers during the full moon. Being distracted by chores seemed to have improved his mood, and once they had everything they needed, he pulled Buck in for a kiss.

Surrounded by leafy greenery, Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie and kissed him back, chuckling when Eddie's hand slipped lower down his back, resting just above his butt.

They parted, and the image of Eddie lifeless on the boat vanished from his mind as he gazed into those familiar warm brown eyes. "The plants turning you on?" he asked in a low voice.

Eddie grinned, shaking his head. "No, just—"

"There they are," a female voice snapped. "Over there. It's disgusting and something needs to be done about it."

Buck looked up, confused, as the woman from earlier led a manager towards them. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry sir, this woman says that you and your friend here—"

"Husband," Eddie corrected sharply, automatically putting himself in between Buck and the woman.

"Husband," the manager said awkwardly, "um… she says you were having sex in the aisle?"

Buck snorted with laughter. Eddie gave the manager an incredulous look. "Does it look like we are?"

"They were kissing," she snapped, pushing her frizzy blonde hair off her face. "There are children present!"

Buck, Eddie and the manager all looked around the plant centre. They were the only people in the vicinity.

The manager gave them an apologetic look and then turned to the woman. "Ma'am, clearly you're mistaken. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Her jaw dropped. "But they're—"

"They're two people going about their business, and you're being very inappropriate," he said. "Now, if you'd like I'll walk you out to the register and you can check-out, but—"

"Oh no, that's fine," she retorted, shoving her cart at him. "That's fine. Birds of a feather flock together, don't they?"

The manager looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"

"All three of you are disgusting," she snarled, and spat on the floor. "I'll be taking my business elsewhere."

As she stalked away, the manager called for security over his walkie-talkie to accompany her out of the store, and then turned to them apologetically. "I'm so sorry," he said. "Please, let me take you out to the registers. I can give you a discount on your shopping today – I see you guys are stocking up."

Eddie glanced at Buck, who said, "That'd be great. Sorry for… any confusion?"

"No, I knew I was dealing with a Karen the second she walked up to me," he said tiredly. "Come on."

They followed him out to the registers – outside, the woman was shouting at a security guard, gesturing wildly to the building. Eddie was tense, gripping Buck's hand, his jaw tight.

The manager hovered nearby, watching as the security guard finally convinced the woman to leave, and when their total came through, he gave them a twenty-five percent discount.

"Sorry again," he said, clearly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay; you've gone above and beyond," Buck replied, but Eddie was silent, loading up their cart.

"Thank you for your understanding, and if you need anything else for your garden, please keep us in mind," the manager said, a little desperately.

Buck nodded at him gratefully, and then turned to follow his fuming husband out to the car.

~

Eddie was quietly fuming in the car on the way home. Buck kept sneaking glances at him, until he couldn't stand it anymore. "Babe, you just gotta let it go."

Eddie just shook his head. "I can't even kiss you in public now?"

"She was one crazy woman," he said, reaching out to rest his hand on Eddie's knee. "Just ignore it."

"We live in LA, and what, I'm not allowed to touch you? I'm not allowed to kiss my husband in a garden centre?" Eddie was whipping himself up into a fury. "I nearly died yesterday, and I'm not allowed to _touch you?!_ "

Buck pulled the car over onto the side of the road and put it in park, turning to face him. "Eddie," he said firmly, and Eddie sucked in a breath, struggling to control his emotions. "You can hold my hand in public. That woman was just looking for a fight, okay? Just ignore it."

Eddie shook his head vigorously, not meeting his eyes.

"Babe, you can stick your tongue down my throat in public for all I care," he said, a little desperately. "You just gotta ignore this."

"Gay marriage is _legal_."

"Yeah, and there are a lot of entitled people out there who don't think it should be," Buck replied, grasping Eddie's shoulder with one hand.

"Why aren't you more pissed off?" Eddie demanded.

"I _am_ , but I'm trying to stay calm because I can see how upset you are."

Eddie finally met his eyes, guilt flashing across his face. "Sorry."

"It's okay, but babe – I know you're upset about yesterday, and Cooper, and now this," Buck said gently, as Eddie's eyes filled with tears, "but we are okay. You are okay. You and me, we're going to be fine."

Eddie sniffled, looking out the window. "Yeah."

"We are," Buck reassured him, squeezing his hand. "I've got your back. Remember?"

"If you hadn't been there—"

"You would've made different decisions, and things would've been different," Buck said gently.

Eddie blinked, a tear streaking down his cheek. "Yes."

"Yeah, because… the lifeguard boat was right there, and you would've seen them, and you wouldn't have had to go back down to save the old man, which meant you wouldn't have been stuck. Eds – you have no idea how fucking terrified I was, but this is one of those times where we just thank our lucky stars, and then get on with it."

Eddie exhaled, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed hard. "Yes."

"Because I need you," Buck whispered, and Eddie turned to face him. "I need you, so I don't freak out. Okay?"

Something flared in Eddie's eyes, and he nodded, cupping Buck's cheek. "I'm here. I'm all right."

"And that woman was just a nosy bitch," Buck said firmly.

Eddie gave a hiccupping laugh. "Yeah, she was," he agreed, and leaned in to kiss him again. "I love you."

"I love you too. Let's go home."

~

"Can I ask you a question?" Sophia sidled up to Buck in the kitchen, a concerned expression on her face.

"Sure," he said, as he scrubbed a pan. "What's up?"

"Why did you both suddenly feel the need to tear up your garden _today_?"

He shrugged, shaking his head. "Eddie wanted to do it. He wanted to keep busy."

"He is not okay."

"Yeah, Soph, I know. I'm just letting him work through it," he said patiently. "He just needs some time."

Sophia pulled herself up onto the countertop, a worried look on her face. "He's always been the level-headed one, you know? Adriana is hot-headed and I'm emotional. Eddie's the middle ground."

Buck nodded, adding more hot water to the sink. "Yeah, but he also bottles a lot of stuff up."

"Mmm." Sophia looked around the kitchen. "You know why I came here instead of going to Adriana?"

He glanced at her. "I figured you wanted to get far away from him."

"Yeah, I did, but… I could've done it differently – now I see that I should've gone to Adriana, and flown out instead of driving and exhausting myself," she admitted. "But at the time I didn't see it as an option. We had a huge fight that night, and I lay there in bed thinking about how miserable I was, and then you and Eddie popped into my head like an epiphany. I was just like, _everything will be okay if I can just get to the boys._ "

"We would've driven out and picked you up, you know."

"No, I had to do it – when I knew that I was leaving, I had to go. I couldn't wait around for someone to rescue me – _I had to leave._ And I did."

Buck smiled at her. "You made up your mind. I knew you would."

"Yeah, because of Maddie. I thought about Maddie _a lot._ " Sophia examined her fingernails, and then gave him a long look. "The point is that you guys are my happily ever after, so don't fuck this up."

He laughed, shaking his head. "It's been a rough couple of days, but we'll get through it. You don't have to worry about us."

"But I do; I can't help but worry about you. I'm a worrier, Buck. It's what I do," she said, as Eddie walked into the kitchen with a collection of cups.

"Soph, do your kids just… always get out a new glass, every single time they want a drink?" he asked her tiredly. "I've found about ten of these all over the house."

"They like a fresh container."

"Yeah, well, they're driving me nuts," Eddie grumbled. "Babe, let me do the dishes. You cooked."

"I'm nearly finished," Buck replied, taking the glasses from him.

Eddie sighed, and then hugged him from behind, resting his chin on Buck's shoulder. "You could do the dishes sometimes, Soph," he murmured.

"Yeah, I could, but I could also not do them," she replied with a shrug. "I told you I'm happy to cook."

"But on the days that Buck cooks, you should step up."

"So should you," she pointed out.

"I was cleaning up after _your_ kids!"

"And I was keeping _your_ husband company!"

Buck quickly cut in. "Guys, stop. I don't mind doing the dishes – but Eddie has a point about the cups," he said, gesturing to the collection on the sink. "This isn't normal."

"See?" Eddie said smugly, his hands locked firmly around Buck's waist.

"Ugh, whatever," she complained, sliding off the counter. "You know what we really need to talk about? How unbelievably small your hot water system is."

"Well, we've gone from three people having two showers a day to seven people having two showers a day," Eddie complained. "What do you expect?"

"You could upgrade—"

"We just spent a lot of money on the garden, the hot water system can wait," Eddie snapped.

Sick of the arguing, Buck shook himself free of Eddie's death grip and turned around, marching them both over to the door. "Out."

"Baby," Eddie protested.

"I was just trying to talk to you!" Sophia argued, but Buck flicked the dish towel at them and returned to the sink, reaching over to flip on the radio.

Aggravated, he continued the washing up, trying to zone out to the soothing sounds of Fleetwood Mac – he could hear Eddie and Sophia arguing in the living room, and rolled his eyes.

He'd almost finished when there was a tug at his shirt, and he turned to find Christopher standing beside him, Max at his feet. He leaned over to turn the music down. "You okay, kiddo?"

"I'm sick of _everyone_ ," Christopher said wearily, resting his head against Buck's chest. "Can you come into my room with me?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied, emptying the sink and drying his hands. "Let's go get some peace and quiet."

They bypassed the living room, where Eddie and Sophia were still bickering – with Adriana on speakerphone, as far as Buck could tell – and went into Christopher's room, pulling the door shut. Max hopped up on the bed, yawning, but Christopher sat on the floor with one of the Lego kits he'd received for Christmas and said, "Can we?"

"That sounds good," Buck agreed, sitting cross-legged across from him.

"Can we listen to some music too?"

"Sure." Buck connected his phone to the speaker in Christopher's room, and began to play some rock & roll. "Pass me the instructions, kiddo."

They worked in silence. Max presided over them on the bed, his front paws tucked underneath himself – not sleeping, but keeping a watchful eye. Buck ended up lying on his stomach on the floor, assembling pieces of a rocket ship, and he'd almost completely lost track of time when the door opened.

"There you are," Eddie said quietly, stepping into the room. "I was looking for you guys."

"We're getting some peace," Christopher announced.

"Yeah, it's a lot. I know." Eddie knelt beside Buck, resting a hand on his back. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I forgot I was a grown man for a while there."

"It's okay," Buck replied, glancing up at him. "The kid and I just needed a break."

Eddie nodded unhappily. "Sorry."

Buck smiled up at him reassuringly. "Come on, if you're in here with us you're helping build this spaceship."

"Yeah, Dad," Christopher agreed.

"You two do realise it's nearly ten o'clock, right?" Eddie asked them wryly.

Buck exchanged a surprised look with Christopher, and then checked his watch. "Okay! Well, Chris, we kinda blew right past your bedtime there. You need to brush your teeth."

Christopher giggled, nodding. "I knew what time it was," he said cheekily, and pointed to the clock on the bedside table.

"You little sneak," Buck replied with a grin, moving so he was on his knees. "Let's save this for another day."

* * *

Eddie let Buck tuck Christopher in, and wandered around the house, tidying up. He was all twisted up in knots inside, feeling guilty – for arguing with his sister and upsetting Buck, and making Buck and Christopher feel like they had to go hide in Christopher's room just to get some peace and quiet.

Not to mention the woman at the garden centre – _that_ was still bugging him – and the thought of having to return to work with Cooper, coupled with trying to deal with the crushing knowledge that he'd simply given up and accepted death instead of fighting on – _everything_ was gnawing away at him internally, dragging him down, crushing him with the weight of his guilt.

He hated that his last thoughts before unconsciousness were that it was simply okay to let go; that he'd just accepted the inevitability of his death and slipped away. He'd always fight to come home to his family – unless he simply _gave up._ He'd come so close to losing everything – to being taken away from the two people who loved and depended on him the most.

He couldn't admit it to Buck, and instead he let it fester inside while he robotically ran through his night-time routine. He was already in bed when Buck joined him, changing into soft pyjamas before perching on the edge of the bed, stretching his arms over his head.

Eddie wanted to say sorry again, but instead he crawled over to Buck and gave him a hug. Buck let out a breathy laugh, leaning against him. "It's okay."

"Soph needs to find her own place."

"It's one night, and Chris just needed a break," Buck murmured. "That's all. Not your fault."

He didn't believe that for a second.

They settled down in bed together, under the covers. Buck lay on his side with his head on Eddie's shoulder, one arm draped across his waist. Eddie played with his fingers, gazing at him sadly.

"You're going to be okay," Buck said suddenly, opening his eyes, and looking up at Eddie seriously. "It will be okay."

"Will it?"

"Yes." Buck's lips quirked into a smile. "Because you have me."

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, I'm a lucky guy."

"We both are." Buck leaned in to brush a kiss to his lips. "Goodnight, my love."

"Night, baby."

~

Dark thoughts kept him awake that night, tossing and turning, until Buck finally let out a sigh, grabbed him around the waist and pulled him in, spooning him from behind. Only then, with Buck's hand pressed flat against his chest, did he manage to drift off to sleep.

In the morning Buck suggested they swing by the deli to see Milo before work, and as soon as they walked in Eddie's spirits were instantly lifted – Milo greeted them both enthusiastically, striding out from behind the counter to pull them in for a joint hug. They ordered their usual breakfast rolls and ate while catching up – it was hard to be gloomy around Milo, whose food trucks were doing great business, and he even had a new lady friend.

"Early days yet; early days yet," he chided, when Buck asked if they'd be invited to the wedding. "Here, have another coffee!"

Buck was still grinning about it as he drove them to the station – his good mood was enough for them both, and when they stopped at a light about a block away from work, Eddie leaned over the seats and kissed him sweetly.

"Mmm," Buck murmured against his lips. "You taste like hot sauce."

"So do you." Eddie kissed him again, and returned to his seat. "Love you."

Buck cast him an affectionate look. "Love you too."

The problem was that his spirits immediately crashed upon entering the station, where Cooper was waiting for them near the entrance. Definitely not fired, then. Realistically, he'd known that it wouldn't happen – it wasn't as if Cooper had deliberately sabotaged him, after all, but still… he'd _hoped_.

Eddie bypassed him entirely, deciding to take the cold-shoulder approach, though he heard Buck say to him, "We'll talk later."

"But I need to talk to you both now," Cooper protested, following them determinedly.

As he entered the locker room, Eddie spotted Bobby hurrying down the stairs towards them. He was already on edge, trying to control his temper, wanting desperately to escape before he blew up at the young rookie.

It was Buck who blocked the entrance to the locker room and said to Cooper, "Let us get dressed, and then we'll talk."

"Cap said I have to apologise—"

"Cooper, let the boys get dressed, and then all three of you meet me in my office," Bobby ordered from outside. "Five minutes, guys."

Eddie swore under his breath, yanking open his locker.

"It's okay; everything is okay," Buck said softly.

"No, it's not. I knew he probably wouldn't get fired, but I'm still pissed about it."

"Maybe Bobby can't fire him." Buck changed into his uniform quickly, casting worried looks his way every so often. "Listen, if you need another day—"

"No, I'm okay, I just want to get back to work." Eddie turned his back on him while he tied his shoelaces, and when he straightened up again, he found Buck gazing at him with huge, concerned eyes. He crumbled almost instantly. "Baby, I'm sorry, I just – I'm so angry, and…"

"It's okay, come here," Buck said, taking him by the hand and leading him around the corner for some privacy. "It's okay. If you get angry, just look at me, and I'll rescue you."

Eddie nodded, leaning in for a kiss.

He was angry, sure – and definitely at Cooper, but… he couldn't tell Buck that the person he was most angry with was himself.

~

They managed a quick hello with Hen and Chimney before filing into Bobby's office. Buck sat between Eddie and Cooper, but pointedly shifted his chair closer to Eddie, taking his hand. Eddie rubbed his fingers along Buck's palm and thought again how grateful he was to have him by his side – unfailingly on his team, always backing him up.

As if reading his mind, Buck glanced over at him and smiled softly.

Eddie had always tried to avoid looking at Cooper – he didn't like him, and he didn't want to be around him, so he tried not to make eye contact as much as he could. But he could see his reflection in the glass cabinets behind Bobby's desk – Cooper was shaking with fear, pale-faced. He'd always been kinda goofy looking – his nose and ears were too big for his head, and when he was in casual clothes, he was never without a baseball cap. His light brown hair was cropped short on the sides and longer on top, and he had a scar on his chin – Eddie had overheard the story behind that; he'd fallen out of a tree as a kid.

He looked as though he'd put in an effort for their meeting – his uniform was clean and pressed, but he was visibly tense. There was an air of desperation around him – he was most likely convinced that he was about to lose his job – and it gave Eddie a small sense of satisfaction to see him so rattled.

Cooper had a kind of brash overconfidence that helped him make friends easily, but there was nothing deeper behind it. Eddie had always considered Cooper to be particularly shallow, and the fact that he spent most of his time leering after attractive people was a testament to that. Eddie had no time or patience for people who only cared about looks, and he'd written off Cooper almost instantly as someone he had no interest in being friends with.

And now they were in Bobby's office, at odds, and Eddie wondered just how long he could put up with him if he continued in his job.

"Okay," Bobby said, taking a seat at his desk. "I've gone over the incident with everyone separately and all parties agree that the problem occurred when Cooper failed to carry out the task Eddie asked of him. Cooper agrees that this is the case as well, correct?"

"Yes, sir," he said in a quiet, terrified voice.

"And you're still on probation," Bobby said to him. "This was a huge lapse in judgement on your part and very nearly resulted in Eddie's death, and the deaths of the two occupants of the vehicle – both of which are recovering in hospital. Cooper, I don't have to tell you how bad this is."

"Yes, sir."

"The Chief has authorised me to fire you."

Cooper sucked in a breath, on the verge of tears. "Bobby – Cap – please, please… I just… I saw someone who needed help, and I… stopped to help them, and… I never meant for any of this to happen and I didn't do it on purpose, you know? I never meant for Eddie to get hurt."

"But you don't like Eddie," Bobby said bluntly.

Buck's grip tightened on Eddie's hand.

"I thought he didn't like me," Cooper said helplessly. "He's not rude, but… he's not friendly, either. Not like everyone else. Not like Buck."

Eddie kept his mouth shut and his head down.

"I'm going to cut in here," Buck suddenly said. "Sometimes there are people we don't gel with, Coop. And you have to admit that you've made some pretty inappropriate comments towards us from time to time. You haven't gone out of your way to ingratiate yourself to either of us."

"But I thought we were friends," Cooper whispered.

"Not when you're talking shit about my husband, man. I'm supposed to be training you, so that's what I've been doing. Don't mistake my professionalism for friendship."

Eddie glanced at him with surprise, but Buck's jaw was set determinedly.

Cooper deflated. "But…"

"What comments?" Bobby asked Buck curiously. "You never mentioned that to me."

"We didn't want to make waves; we just wanted to do our jobs," Buck replied. "But sometimes he makes inappropriate jokes about us."

Cooper sniffled. "I swear, it's… I was just trying to like, lighten the mood? Be friendly?"

Bobby rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Cooper, when I employed you, I told you that the 118 is a family. Buck and Eddie are already under extra pressure, being a newly married couple with a child, trying to balance working together and their home life. If you're making jokes about sex—"

"No, no! I'm not!"

Bobby raised his eyebrows at Buck, who said, "Not sex exactly, but sexual undertones."

"There's no place for that here," Bobby warned Cooper, who was on the verge of tears. "There's no place in this house for making people feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. If you don't think I see what's going on, you're wrong."

"Please Cap, I just… I just want to be a firefighter," Cooper pleaded. "Please. You know I've got my mom and my sister at home; you know I'm the only one bringing in a steady paycheck… please, please don't fire me. I'm sorry I got distracted; I'm sorry I keep messing up. This is the only thing I've ever wanted to do and I know I can be really good at it, if you just give me another chance."

Bobby rubbed his chin and glanced over at Eddie. "Do you want to say anything?"

He sighed, tilting his head from side to side to stretch his neck before saying, "Look, I didn't trust him before, and I trust him even less now. I don't think we can work together."

"Eddie, I'm sorry," Cooper said desperately. "Please, it was a mistake – I didn't do it intentionally, I swear!"

He just shrugged, shaking his head. "That's all well and good, dude, but I nearly died. I'd really like to make it to my first wedding anniversary."

Buck gave him a sidelong look, squeezing his hand.

"Okay – Buck, Eddie, you guys can go," Bobby said. "Cooper, stay in here. We need to talk privately."

Buck stood, leading Eddie out of the room. "He's getting fired," he said confidently.

Eddie shook his head. "Somehow, I don't think so."

~

His instincts were correct. Later that day, Bobby took them both aside to inform them that the man Cooper had saved was the son of a prominent politician and city leader, and the Chief had decided that firing Cooper after performing such a heroic act would only make the Department look bad.

So he'd squeaked by again, with little to no consequences, and Eddie spotted him laughing and chatting with some of the other members of the team later that day. Buck was uncharacteristically furious, so much so that it was Hen who dragged him out of the station for a while to cool off, and Eddie hung out with Chimney on the balcony, watching TV.

"It's bullshit," Chimney said, out of the blue. "I know it; you know it, and Bobby knows it, but if the Chief says he's gotta stay, then…"

"Yeah, I get it," he murmured, stretching his legs out on the coffee table. "I don't have to be happy about it."

"Just don't start threatening to leave."

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah man, we're here to stay."

"Good. You know I've been through my fair share of shit while I've been working here, and Hen has too… this is just a bad patch; it won't last." Chimney glanced at him. "You've been through worse."

"Don't remind me," he murmured. "There was this guy in my unit… he ended up getting shipped out, but he was the biggest dickhead I've ever met. Totally sexist, misogynistic and _really stupid_. If you put up a map of the world, he couldn't tell you which part of it was Afghanistan, let alone the USA."

Chimney laughed. "I mean, I thought Buck was like that at first, until he started dropping hard facts on me left and right."

"Buck _reads_ , that's the difference. He's interested in the world."

"I'm interested in the world," a voice suddenly piped up from behind them. Cooper strolled into the living room, taking a seat across from them.

Eddie sighed and began to stand up, irritated beyond belief.

"Can you stay for two minutes?" Cooper asked him pleadingly. "Like… I just want to talk to you without Buck hanging around."

He glanced at Chimney, who shrugged his shoulders and said, "I guess you could hear him out."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Fine. What do you want?"

"I want to apologise to you properly for the other day on the pier," Cooper began. "Eddie, I know I fucked up. I know I should've radioed for help – I know I shouldn't have abandoned you. It wasn't malicious, okay? I saw someone that needed helping, and… that's what I did."

"Cool. You done?" Eddie asked him, raising his eyebrows.

Cooper sighed. "Dude, I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything to me at all," Eddie replied flatly, rising to his feet. "You're a big damn hero; you saved the mayor's son."

"It's not the mayor…"

"Still. Good for you, man," Eddie said sarcastically. "Great work. You're doing a great job, kid. Keep at it."

"Eddie," Chimney hissed, but Eddie was already striding down the stairs, trying to control his anger.

He'd nearly died, sure, but what did that matter when Cooper was out there saving politician's sons? Nothing mattered. Cooper could burn down Disneyland, but as long as he saved someone important, everything would be okay. A pattern of nearly getting people killed didn't really matter, so long as he could balance it out by saving someone whose life _meant something._

Eddie stalked into the locker room, on the verge of tears. His life, stacked up against the son of a politician, didn't fucking matter. That was the truth of it.

* * *

"Where's Eddie?" Buck asked as soon as he returned to the station, tossing his empty coffee cup in the trash. When he'd left, Eddie and Chimney had been hanging out together, but Chimney merely shook his head at him.

"Cooper tried to apologise again and Eddie… didn't take it very well," he explained, as Hen clucked her tongue and glanced at Buck with concern. "He's cooling off in the locker room, I think."

"And Cooper?" he asked, glancing around the station.

"Upstairs, angry that Eddie won't just accept his heartfelt apology. You know why he's pissed off, right?" Chimney asked, and beckoned them in closer. "It's because the Department pretty much said, okay, yeah, this guy is a liability and he nearly got one of our firefighters _killed_ , but he did save some rich dude's son, so… we better give him a pass. They basically traded Eddie's life for someone else's."

Buck's heart began to pound. "He's in the locker room?" he said to Chimney, and when he nodded, hurried across the station, searching for his husband. He found him on a bench in the shower room, legs stretched out in front of him, staring morosely at the floor.

"Eds," Buck said softly. "Are you okay?"

Eddie shrugged. "No, but I have to be, don't I? I have to do my job. I have to be professional and not let any of this affect me. I nearly died, but that doesn't matter, does it? Not in the grand scheme of things."

"I'm not going to get into the like… politics of departmental decision making with you right now," Buck said, and Eddie looked at him with surprise. "Listen – you don't think I'm fucking furious about this? That I didn't just go for a long walk with Hen so I could rant about it with her and not stress you out even more? And I know you said you didn't think he'd get fired, but… I think we both kinda thought he would."

Eddie nodded, closing his eyes. "I really wanted him to."

"Look… it's infuriating," Buck said, kneeling in front of him. "He nearly gets three people killed, but because he saved a rich white dude, it's all forgiven; it's just water under the bridge."

"Rich people tend to get whatever they want," Eddie pointed out. "It's the way of the world. And like… I get it, right? I get it. I see where they're coming from, but… fuck. What else is going to happen, you know? Is he actually going to get one of us killed?"

"They're not thinking like that, but maybe if we go to Bobby—"

"No, we're not doing that." Eddie heaved a defeated sigh. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, because you're unhappy and I hate it when you're unhappy."

Eddie blinked at him, and then said worriedly, "Baby, I'll be okay. Are you okay?"

Buck just shrugged, shaking his head. "I know how on edge you are, and I just want to… fix it, somehow. Make it better. Rewind the clock so I was the one helping you that day, and not Cooper."

"Well, unfortunately, you can't," Eddie said gently, motioning for Buck to join him on the bench. "You don't have to try to fix everything."

"I just want you to be happy," Buck whispered, leaning against him, holding his hand. "You've been so tense ever since Cooper started…"

"Yeah, about that. You really dumped him as a friend today," Eddie said quietly. "You broke that kid's heart."

Buck met his eyes. "You're more important."

"You can have friends that aren't my friends—"

"Babe, he almost got you killed. We're fucking _done_ ," Buck said, squeezing his hand. "Listen – I want you happy at work again, okay?"

"I'm happy with you, always."

He shook his head. "No, you've got sad eyes. I don't know what's going on in your head, but I know something's wrong. I know you're not telling me something."

And he worried about it, frequently, when he'd catch Eddie staring blankly into the distance. It had only been a few days since the pier, but whatever it was, they needed to figure it out.

Suddenly, Eddie leaned in to kiss him, holding his hand tightly. "I'll be okay," he promised.

"But you could talk to me about it," Buck offered. "Maybe I can help."

"I just… I'm not ready yet, but I will be," he said. "I just need some time."

Buck nodded. He could do that; he could give him time. He could be there for him, and when he was ready, they'd sit down and talk through everything together. One thing was certain – he had faith in Eddie.

~

Over the next week, life continued as usual. They had a meeting booked in with Christopher's math teacher and the principal on the Thursday afternoon, which had them both anxious. Christopher had been more or less _okay_ since his panic attack. Math homework still stressed him out, and instead of one of them helping him, it had become a family affair – even Sophia offered her two cents, leaning over their shoulders to check his work.

But what had become clear to them was that Christopher simply didn't understand math. Carla had suggested discussing with the principal whether to assess Christopher for dyscalculia, which was a mathematics learning disability. Neither Buck nor Eddie had ever heard of it before, but they both agreed that it could be the reason Christopher was having so many problems.

Eddie confessed to Buck that he felt a little embarrassed at having blown up at Mr Stewart for suggesting that Christopher had a learning disability – he'd been extra prone to misery since the accident at the pier, and Buck had often caught him staring into the distance with a dark expression on his face. Sophia had even mentioned to him once or twice that she was concerned, but there was nothing Buck could do – Eddie had asked for time, and Buck would give him that.

So when he was seated on the edge of their bed, worrying away at his bottom lip about a potential learning disability, Buck said reasonably, "We didn't have all the information then. We still don't know if that's what the problem is, but if we rule it out, then we know for sure."

"That teacher just rubbed me the wrong way."

"Me too, but… these things happen." Buck sat down on the bed beside him, pulling on a pair of socks. "We'll figure it out. Whatever you do, don't apologise. He was a jerk."

Eddie nodded, his eyes trained on Buck's feet. "Batman socks," he said, poking Buck's foot. "Are you cold?"

"Yeah, I have been."

"Maybe we need to get a heater."

"Nah, I'll just snuggle up to you a bit more." Buck kissed his shoulder, and then the nape of his neck – and he was encouraged when Eddie leaned into it, closing his eyes.

They hadn't had sex since the pier, which was… unusual. Buck just had the feeling that Eddie wasn't ready, for some reason, and he wasn't going to push.

Sure enough, right after he'd sucked a particularly sensitive part of Eddie's neck, Eddie pulled away from him, standing, stretching his arms over his head. "I'm tired," he said by way of explanation. "Big day tomorrow."

Buck was tired as well, but he wanted another kiss, so he pulled Eddie down into his lap, hugging him close. Eddie was smiling, leaning against him, until that same dark look crossed his face and clouded his eyes.

Buck had to be patient, but inside, he was twisted in knots.

~

They left work early on Thursday and arrived at the school for their appointment, walking in alongside Carla. Sophia had graciously agreed to collect Christopher, and he would be waiting at home for them – they were going out for pizza and a movie.

Eddie was primed and ready for a fight, and it was Carla who warned him, "Do not get the principal offside, Eddie."

"I'm not," he protested.

"You're tense. I can feel it, Buck can feel it and they will definitely feel it, so you be cool."

"I'm very cool," he complained. "Buck, tell her."

"I'll do the talking," Buck said instead, draping an arm across his shoulders. "Leave it to me."

Once inside the principal's office, Buck felt a familiar feeling of discomfort. He'd visited the principal's office once or twice during his twelve years of schooling, and even setting foot into the room as an adult filled him with dread. He and Eddie sat to one side, Carla in the middle, and Mr Stewart on the end closest to the door.

"So," Principal Summers said. "We're here to talk about Christopher and math."

"Yes, and I'd like to make one thing perfectly clear," Mr Stewart began, "just so we can avoid any hostility. When I mentioned college, I meant in the broader sense that the children would face these kinds of tests throughout their schooling. I certainly didn't mean that Christopher needs to start prepping for college _now._ I really feel like you came into that meeting with a negative attitude, and were totally unprepared to see my point of view."

Buck immediately grasped Eddie's hand – he could feel the tension radiating off his husband in waves.

Carla said evenly, "With all due respect, we disagree. You were unwilling to listen to our concerns. You said that you thought Christopher wasn't applying himself, which is untrue. His fathers sit in with him every night while he works on his homework. He has plenty of support, and he's _trying._ "

"When I suggested that it could be a learning disability, you were vehement that it wasn't," Mr Stewart said to Eddie. "So what is it?"

Eddie refused to take the bait, so it was Buck who said, "Now that we've realised how serious the problem is, we've done some research on dyscalculia—"

"Oh, so now the two firefighters are experts in dyscalculia. When I tried to broach this subject with you at our parent-teacher meeting, you both blamed _me_ for Christopher's problems," Mr Stewart argued. "I understand Mr Diaz is worried about his son—"

"Our son," Eddie corrected.

Mr Stewart arched an eyebrow. " _Your son_ ," he said pointedly, "but taking it out on me isn't the answer. I'm here to help."

"By stressing out a ten-year-old kid with visions of not being able to get into college?" Carla asked skeptically. "I don't think you understand – we explained to you that he had a panic attack because of something _you_ said to him. There's a reason Buck and Eddie – Christopher's _parents_ , both of them – are concerned about him being in your class."

"I'm his math teacher; not his therapist. Mental health issues are not my area of expertise."

Eddie was rigid, fuming, clenching Buck's hand. Even Principal Summers was staring at Mr Stewart in shock, her eyebrows raised.

"Glen," she said sharply, "If I'm understanding correctly, you've been telling ten-year-old children that these math quizzes are going to determine their futures?"

He sighed, clearly frustrated. "I'm simply preparing them for their future—"

"They're _ten_ ," she said emphatically. "They don't need to be worried about college right now."

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "It's been completely taken out of context by Mr Diaz's son."

Eddie flinched, and when Buck glanced at him, he found that he was barely suppressing his anger, his lips pressed so tightly together they were almost white.

Deciding he had to try to ease the tension, Buck said, "Okay, look – I kinda get where you're coming from, but you need to take the feedback that Christopher is upset by some of your methods."

"It's not my fault your partner's son has emotional problems."

"He's my son too," Buck retorted. "Eddie's my husband, and Christopher is my adopted son. Please stop dismissing me as though I'm not one of his parents."

Mr Stewart sighed again. "Listen, I don't care what your relationship is, all right? My job is to educate your son. I suggested that he might have a learning disability and you took great offence, and now you're sitting in here telling me that you think my initial assessment was right – and you expect me to be surprised? Grateful?"

"Okay, enough," Principal Summers interjected. "Glen, you're not doing yourself any favours here. Mr and Mr Diaz want to work out a solution."

"The solution is to take Christopher out of your class," Carla said bluntly, eyeing Mr Stewart. "I'd rather him not be around you."

"It's not Christopher I have a problem with," Mr Stewart replied, turning to Buck and Eddie pointedly.

"I think we can both agree that our first meeting got off to a bad start," Buck said, trying to appease him, "but all of us just want the best for Christopher."

At that, Mr Stewart nodded, though he cast Eddie a wary look.

"There does seem to be a fundamental disagreement between both parties," Principal Summers spoke up, "but with three months left in the curriculum, I'm wondering if it's beneficial for Christopher to swap classes now, or if we simply see out the end of the year and move on fresh. What I am thinking is that we assess Christopher for dyscalculia, to determine if that is a contributing factor – if we can rule it out, great, and if not, we'll understand what the issue is. Does Christopher have an issue with Mr Stewart teaching him?"

Buck shook his head. "No, but he's feeling extra pressure at the moment. He doesn't usually struggle with his schoolwork."

"And the comments about college and his future certainly didn't help," Carla said dryly, shooting Mr Stewart an unimpressed look.

He shook his head. "And if I've caused him distress, I apologise – it was never my intention, but I'm still his teacher. And I really do feel like it's part of my job to prepare them in some way for their futures."

"Glen," Principal Summers said tiredly, "they're ten years old. You're teaching a class of children with special needs. I know you've come from an exclusive private boarding school, and you consider working here a step down—"

"I never said that," Mr Stewart replied bluntly. "That's just your opinion."

"We'll discuss that later, but my point to you is that the children here require a more delicate touch than perhaps you're used to," she replied, raising her voice slightly. "And Mr and Mr Diaz are not the first parents to approach me with complaints about your methods."

That was news to Buck. He raised his eyebrows at Eddie, who rolled his eyes.

Mr Stewart shrugged. "You knew what you were getting when you employed me. Test Christopher for dyscalculia, and if I'm right, I'd like an apology."

Eddie said, out of the blue, "Listen, I know we've gotten off on the wrong foot here, but our son's happiness and education are the most important things to us. If he's diagnosed with dyscalculia, are you willing to give him special consideration? Or do you just want to wash your hands of him?"

"Of course not," Mr Stewart said. "I like Christopher. He's a great kid, but… I can tell he doesn't like the subject."

"He doesn't like it, because he doesn't understand it and he's struggling. If he does have a learning disability, then we can arrange extra help for him," Eddie said to Carla, who nodded. "But I need to know if you want to be his teacher or not, because right now… it sounds like you don't."

"Quite honestly I don't want to have to deal with you and your husband."

"Well, that's not your choice," Principal Summers said to Mr Stewart. "Frankly, Glen, you and I are going to have a discussion later about your attitude, because this is not conducive to a working relationship between teacher and parents. They are worried about their son."

"Their son is not the only child in my class," Mr Stewart said evenly, and then stood. "I'm done here. You'll let me know what you decide to do."

"Glen, I'll speak to you later," Principal Summers said as he stalked out of the room, and then turned to them apologetically. "I'm so sorry."

"He's not wrong; I was angry at our first meeting," Eddie said quietly. "He just rubs me the wrong way."

"Maybe we should look at moving him to another class," Carla suggested. "It might be the only option."

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that man as his teacher," Buck said to Eddie, who nodded, his hand pressed against his lips. "But we should get him assessed first, right?"

Eddie was silent for a moment, and then said, "Okay. But I want to sit down and talk him through it." He looked over at Principal Summers again and said, "You understand where I'm coming from. I just want my son to have the same opportunities as every other kid. I want him to feel comfortable and safe at his school. His panic attack scared the hell out of us."

"We knew he was struggling with math, but we didn't realise how personally he was taking it," Buck added.

"Buck and Eddie have booked an appointment with his therapist," Carla said to Principal Summers, "in the hopes that Christopher will learn some coping techniques for when he feels overwhelmed. Christopher hasn't expressed anything to me about disliking Mr Stewart, and as much as I don't like him… I'm not sure taking him out of the class is a good idea."

"Well, we'll set up the assessment," Principal Summers said, "and I'll speak with Glen about his attitude. Again, I'm very sorry."

They said their goodbyes, and Buck followed Eddie out into the waiting room, where Mr Stewart was pacing back and forth. Buck nodded at him, but Mr Stewart caught Eddie's eye and said, "Listen – you have a great kid, but your attitude sucks. I don't want to have another parent-teacher meeting with someone who obviously has anger issues, okay?"

"Glen!" Principal Summers exclaimed, stabbing a finger at her office. "Get inside."

To his credit, Eddie didn't respond, but he was visibly tense, and when they stepped out into the hallway, he turned to Buck, shaking his head, his eyes full of tears.

"Okay," Buck said soothingly, taking him by the hands and pulling him into a protective embrace. "He's a dick; we knew that. You don't have anger issues; it's okay."

"Eddie, don't let this get to you," Carla warned. "We all know you're having a rough time right now, but don't let this man get into your head. He's an idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about."

"He's not wrong, I was a dick," Eddie said unhappily. "Come on, let's go. I need to get out of here."

They walked out to the parking lot, Carla trying her best to give Eddie a pep talk, but Eddie was in such a black mood that not even Carla could lift him out of it.

There was silence in the car as they drove home, Buck trying to focus on the road and ignore the tension radiating off Eddie in waves. He'd given him time, hoping that Eddie would open up, but he was still stubbornly playing his cards close to his chest.

The truth was that Buck was terrified that Eddie was somehow angry at _him_ – that he'd broken the promise he'd made, long ago, to not be reckless with his life. He kept sneaking worried glances at his husband – was he the reason that Eddie's jaw was pulled so taut? Eddie was angry with _him?_

Unable to take it any longer, he finally said, "Okay, we need to talk. Just the two of us, alone. Tonight, after everyone is in bed, you and I are doing some communicating."

Eddie sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Can we… can we just go to sleep?"

"No, come on. I've given you some time, and now I need to know what's going on with you so I can stop feeling so freaked out all the time. I'm your husband, right? I'll be honest with you, if you're honest with me." Buck pulled up at a set of lights, and turned to face him. "You know I'm always on your team."

He was silent, staring out the window. "Yep."

"Eddie," Buck said urgently. "Please, you have to tell me what's going on. I need to know. I can't help if I don't know."

"Maybe you can't help this time."

"Well, maybe you need to give me a chance." The light turned green, and Buck pressed on the accelerator again. "I'm not giving you an ultimatum, but tonight, I'm going to tell you what's been on my mind."

At that, Eddie turned to him, his eyebrows lifting. "What's on your mind?" he asked worriedly.

"Not now; later."

"But… are you okay?"

Buck gave him a sidelong glance. "You see how it feels, right?"

"Yeah, but… it's different, with you," Eddie replied quietly. "Because I need to make sure you're happy."

"Ditto."

They came to another stop light, and Buck gave him a lingering look. Eddie blinked rapidly, rubbing his lips again.

"We said we'd talk," Buck pointed out. "That was the deal we made, when we got married. We're gonna talk to each other when we're upset. You can't back out now."

"I just don't want to tell you this." Eddie's eyes were glassy. "I can't tell you this."

"You can tell me anything."

"But you'll be disappointed."

"No, I won't. There's nothing you can do to disappoint me."

"You say that now," Eddie said morosely.

Buck reached for his hand, and held it to his lips. "Because I mean it," he said meaningfully. "Come on – you married me, you gotta deal with the consequences of that."

Eddie sniffled, wiping his eyes. "Yeah, I know."

"So tonight, after dinner, we're talking. You and me."

"Okay," Eddie agreed softly. "You and me."

~


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie worried about it over dinner, watching as Christopher argued playfully with his cousins and a shameless waiter kept stopping by to blatantly hit on Sophia, who kept shooting him disgruntled looks. Buck had his arm draped around his shoulders, laughing at the kids, but Eddie was twisted inside, wondering how he was possibly going to admit to the man that he loved the most how terrified he was that he'd accepted death.

He busied himself when they returned home – putting Christopher to bed and reading him a story, before doing his nightly check to make sure the house was locked before heading upstairs for a shower.

When he finished and went into the bedroom, he found the room dimly lit, and Buck lying on the bed in his comfiest pyjamas, holding a pillow in his lap.

"I told Chris that we're going to sit down and talk to him tomorrow afternoon with Carla," Eddie said, as he closed the door and wandered over to the bed, filled with nervous butterflies.

"Okay, hopefully nothing bad happens at school tomorrow." Buck sat up, gazing at him expectantly. "All right. I'm going first, Eds."

Eddie swallowed hard, sitting on the end of the bed. "You're angry with me," he guessed, shooting a fearful look in Buck's direction. "Because I've been keeping this from you."

Buck shook his head slowly. "No, I'm not angry with you. You'd know if I was. I'm worried, because I love you so much and I want to help, but I just feel like… after that day on the pier, we've been out of sync."

Eddie nodded, picking at the bedspread. "Yeah."

"So…" Buck leaned forward, hugging the pillow tightly. "You told me once that if you were gone, I had to let you go. Right? That I had to go on without you."

"Yes."

"I completely forgot about that when I saw the car heading over the side. Every single rational thought in my brain disappeared and all I could do was scream your name and jump into the water after you," he said, clearing his throat. "I totally lost my mind, again."

"Sometimes I think we shouldn't work together anymore," Eddie admitted. "But I can't bear the thought of it."

"No, me either." Buck let out a shaky breath, on the verge of tears. "You and Christopher are the most important people in my life. I know I made you a promise, but… if there's even the slimmest chance that I can save you, even if it looks hopeless, I know I'm going to try. I can't promise you that I won't put myself in danger trying to get you out. I know I did, but… I know I can't make that promise. Not now."

Eddie shifted closer to him, reaching out to grasp one sock-clad foot. "I knew that a long time ago," he admitted. "Because I know you better than anyone, and I wasn't surprised to turn around and find that you were swimming towards me. I knew you'd be there."

"Because I love you," Buck said simply, gazing at him with sad blue eyes. "And it terrifies me – because we work together, and because… I know one of us needs to be here for Christopher. I can't bear the thought of losing either of you, and… I honestly can't tell you that I won't throw myself in after you again. It's instinct."

Eddie nodded, rubbing his foot, staring at the bedspread with blurry eyes. "I know how you feel."

"I thought you were mad at me," Buck admitted quietly. "For diving in after you."

" _No_ ," Eddie replied emphatically. "You saved my life."

Buck gave him a sad look. "Then please tell me what's going on, Eds."

God, he didn't _want to_ , but… he was making his husband miserable, and by extension Christopher – and himself. He wished there was a way that he could just snap out of it, and stop feeling so guilty, but it was eating away at him inside – every single time he looked into Buck and Christopher's eyes, he remembered how peaceful it had felt to die.

A sob burst out before he could stop it, and he pressed his hands to his face. "You're going to think that… I'm weak."

Buck moved closer to him. "No," he said in a low voice. "I won't."

Eddie sucked in some air, screwing his face up, shaking his head. "God, Buck… you'll never look at me the same way."

"Just _tell me_ ," Buck whispered, and took Eddie's hand, squeezing tightly.

The words came spewing out. "I was drowning, and… trying to fight, and… I remember breathing in the water; I remember… dying? My vision going black, as I looked up through the blue water to the sun… and then… even then, in my head, I was screaming – no, no, this can't be it, this isn't happening again, but then… I was calm? And peaceful… and I _accepted it._ And I _hate myself for that,"_ he said brokenly, and began to sob. "I hate myself for giving up."

Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie in a tight embrace. "You didn't give up."

"I did," he wept. "I said I'd always fight to come home to my family, and _I gave up._ "

"It's not giving up if you have no choice." Buck pulled back, cupping Eddie's face with both hands, gazing at him desperately. "You were underwater a long time, and you were already fatigued when I reached you. You didn't give up the fight; your _body_ gave up."

"No, I know I gave up. It was different before, in the well… I kept fighting, even though my lungs were screaming. When I realised my foot was caught, it was different." He began to sob, clutching Buck desperately. "I've never felt so weak."

"Because you were already fatigued," Buck said urgently. "Baby, you didn't give up. You tried to save him, and your body had just had enough. It's my fault. I should've made sure you were right there with me."

Eddie wept, shaking his head. "God, I'm never going to forgive myself for this."

"You don't need to," Buck whispered, cupping his face with both hands, wiping tears away with his thumbs. "Darling, you had no choice. You were stuck. Don't you get it?"

"But when I was stuck underground—"

"It was _different_ ," Buck stressed, brushing a kiss to Eddie's trembling lips. "You weren't caught up on anything. You were able to swim free."

Eddie just shook his head, unable to speak.

"Oh god, Eds," Buck whispered. "It's okay. It was a close call, but you weren't dead, just unconscious. Okay?"

"I was—"

"No, you had a pulse; you weren't dead," he insisted. "I was right there, remember? You were still conscious when I got there, and then I freed you – and you were unconscious when we got to the surface, but we brought you back in less than a minute. You weren't dead, Eddie. You were just unconscious. You didn't give up, because you had me there to save you, okay? It's different."

He let out a shuddering breath, wiping his eyes. "Is it?"

"Yes." Buck kissed him again, and Eddie responded desperately, clutching at him.

He flashed back to the night after the well, when he'd gone home to Christopher, watched him sleep for a while and then retired to his bedroom, alone – he remembered pulling the blankets up around himself, unable to warm up, wishing that someone was there with him.

Well, now he had Buck, who was warm and alive, kissing him with meaning. Buck, who'd saved him. Eddie had never told him about those terrifying few seconds trapped in the well, when he almost gave up, and Christopher and Buck flashed through his mind and forced him to fight on – in a way, Buck had helped to save him then as well. He'd always fight to come home to his family – but Buck was right. He had fought until the very end, until his body had simply given out.

Buck pulled away, but pressed their foreheads together. "You were unconscious," he said again, stroking Eddie's face. "Unconscious."

"That's a lie you're going to keep telling me—"

"It’s not a lie. You were out for a minute, max. I gave you mouth to mouth, Eddie. You think I'm not… freaked out by how close we came? You were fucking limp in my arms, Eds…" his voice cracked, and he pressed his face against his shoulder. "I just wish you'd talked to me."

"I'm so ashamed," he admitted, in a voice barely above a whisper.

Buck kissed him again, tears dripping down his cheeks, and then pulled away. "When I was in the tsunami… when the wave first hit," he said, his voice hoarse, "I had Christopher in my arms. For the first… I don't know, twenty to thirty seconds, I had him. Then I got smacked in the face with something – remember the cuts over my eye? Something slammed into us, and there was a rush of water, and he was literally ripped from my hands. I can close my eyes and still feel the force of the water tearing him away from me."

Eddie closed his eyes, lowering his head. They'd talked about it before, right after it happened – and sometimes he forgot that he'd almost lost both of them in one fell swoop. How would he have actually gone on if he'd lost both Christopher _and_ Buck on the one day? He couldn't even imagine.

"I was underwater for a long time," Buck continued. "I was tossed around like a ragdoll, and more than once I'd see a dark shape coming towards me and I'd think, _this is it._ I was so close to giving up when I finally broke through the surface – I'd been fighting for so long, trying to figure out which way was up – I was exhausted." He paused, gathering his thoughts, and said, "I've thought a lot about that day since it happened. There was more than one time that I wanted to give up, Eddie – even though I knew I had to fight for Christopher, there was another part of my brain that just kept saying, _enough, enough, I don't want to do this anymore._ "

"But you fought," Eddie said hoarsely.

"And so did you – you fought to free yourself until you couldn't physically fight anymore," Buck stressed, grasping Eddie's shoulders. "It's easy for me to sit here and say that you have to forgive yourself, but there is a part of me that will always feel guilty about losing Christopher in the tsunami. _Always._ But this… you tried, as hard as you could – and when you couldn't do it anymore, I was there to back you up. We're a team."

Eddie gazed at him tearfully. "I wish I'd been with you… for the tsunami."

"I'm glad you weren't – then I would've had two Diaz's to worry about," Buck said wryly, and leaned in to kiss him again. "Thank you for telling me."

"You're not mad?"

"No, not at all. I get it, maybe better than anyone." Buck kissed him again, cupping his cheek. "Everything will be okay, Eds. I feel like we've been in a raincloud for a couple of weeks, but the sun is just starting to peek through again."

Eddie had to admit that it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "I thought you'd be disappointed."

"In you? Never," Buck replied with a grin. "You're my guy. I married you, remember? I like you a lot."

"I could still let you down."

"Nah." Buck pressed his lips to Eddie's forehead. "It'll be okay, Eds. I've got you."

"I know. I love you so much," Eddie whispered. "I'm sorry for not telling you."

"I knew you would in the end." Buck wiped the tears from Eddie's face with his thumbs, and then pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. "God, I love you, so much. Let's get some sleep, okay? I know how tired you are."

"Yeah, I am," he admitted quietly, and when Buck nudged him up to the pillows, he went willingly, laying his head on Buck's chest, listening to his heart beating rhythmically.

Buck switched off the lamp, and he tried to go to sleep, still worked up and emotional. He felt Buck's hand slide down his back, and lifted his head when he said, "You know I never worry about _us_ , Eds. I know we're rock solid – but I hate to see you suffering with something and thinking I'd be disappointed in you or that I wouldn't understand. There's nothing you can do to disappoint me. I trust you and believe in you."

"Which is why I'm terrified of letting you down."

"Sure, and I know your marriage with Shannon plays a big part in why you feel this way, but… I’m not Shannon. Things are different now. You and I have been a team since day one, and that's never going to change. Besides, I've got your parents figured out, and I don't think she ever did."

At that he managed a laugh, lifting his head to gaze at Buck in the dim light of the room. "Yeah, they like you a lot more than her."

"It's the Buckley dazzle," he said impishly, and Eddie felt even more of his worry begin to dissipate.

It was _Buck_ , that was the thing – he'd forgotten that Buck was his sunshine; his hope. He'd forgotten how much Buck believed in him, and he'd allowed himself to become trapped in the same spiral of negative thinking that consumed him after he'd been discharged from the army.

And Buck was right – he had fought until the bitter end, and it was only as the darkness was closing in that he'd succumbed to it, but he'd _fought_.

It felt like a piece of his soul clicked back into place. He looked up at Buck again and found him gazing right back at him. Eddie leaned into kiss him impulsively, before sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. Buck's hands immediately went to his chest, roaming, sliding over warm skin, and their lips were connected when Eddie slid on top of him, groping any part of Buck that he could find.

He was alive; they were alive, and he wasn't going to waste another second thinking about the alternative.

"Hello," Buck whispered, their lips brushing together. "You're okay."

"I'm okay."

"I knew I'd bring you back." Buck grabbed his butt with both hands and ground their hips together. "And fuck, I'm dying for you. Literally."

"Don't say that," Eddie admonished, sliding a hand into the waistband of Buck's sweats, reaching for the promised land, when the walkie-talkie suddenly blared and made them both jerk with fright.

"Dads, Dad," Christopher's urgent, sleepy voice suddenly blared. "Daddy, I had a nightmare, Dad, can you come down, please?"

Eddie pressed one final kiss to Buck's lips and reached for his shirt and the walkie-talkie. "Coming, kiddo," he replied, and then said to Buck, "To be continued when we're not so tired."

"Deal. Call me if you need me," Buck said with a yawn.

Eddie put his shirt on as he went downstairs and into Christopher's room, and found him sitting up in bed, his face tear-streaked and red. "Hey, kiddo," he whispered, pulling him in for a hug. "What's wrong? What was your dream?"

"There was a bear, and I was in a forest and I couldn't get away, and—"

"You and Buck have been watching too many nature documentaries," Eddie said reassuringly. "There aren't any bears here."

"Are you sure? Can I sleep upstairs with you?" Christopher asked, and gave him a patented puppy-dog look. " _Please?_ "

It had been so long since Christopher wanted to cosy up with them that he couldn't resist. "Sure thing," he said, rising to his feet and lifting Christopher up into his arms. "Call Max, we'll all bunk in together."

"Max!" Christopher called as they left the room, and the cat leapt off the bed and trailed after them to the stairs.

Buck was asleep when they entered the master bedroom, and Eddie set Christopher down on the bed and then patted Buck's foot. "We've got company," he said, mostly so Buck didn't wake up and immediately begin pawing at him.

Buck murmured in his sleep. "Chris?"

"Buck, are there bears in Los Angeles?" Christopher whispered to him.

"Don't think so, but we'll check tomorrow. C'mere." Buck lifted his arm, and Christopher burrowed against him.

Eddie slipped into the other side of the bed, draping an arm across them both. Max jumped up as well, padding around, trying to find the perfect spot, before walking across Eddie's head and curling up on the pillows.

He lay awake as they both drifted off to sleep, reassuring himself again that he'd fought until he couldn't fight anymore, and that wasn't something to feel guilty about. He was alive, with both of his boys in his arms, right where he was meant to be.

~

Eddie awoke the next morning with a renewed sense of purpose. He ushered Buck and Christopher out of bed and then ran through their morning routine quickly and efficiently, with an added bonus of making out with Buck under a hot shower – the promise of something more, later.

It was a typically chaotic morning, with Sophia's kids and Christopher arguing in the living room about what cartoons to watch; Sophia in her navy blue uniform, drinking a cup of coffee at the kitchen counter and texting with Adriana, and Buck diligently making breakfast for everyone while Eddie made toast and set the table.

"You're feeling better," Sophia finally said to him knowingly. "I can tell. You both seem happier."

"We had a good talk last night," Buck replied, dishing out scrambled eggs onto plates. "We're both feeling a lot better."

Eddie nodded at her. "We're all good, Soph. I'm okay; no need to worry."

"I always worry about you, you know that." She gestured for them to lean in closer, and said conspiratorially, "Besides, I have a thank you gift for you."

"We told you we didn't want anything," Eddie protested, but she shushed him with a look.

"Adriana's flying out next Friday. We're taking the kids – including Christopher, if he's allowed – to Disneyland for the weekend. How does that strike you guys? The whole place to yourselves," she said meaningfully.

They looked at each other. "I give Christopher permission," Eddie said to Buck, who grinned. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I think he's earned it," Buck replied, trying to sound casual. "Sure, that would be great."

Sophia looked back and forth between them knowingly. "Can you hold out until then?"

"Yep," Eddie said confidently. "All right, let's have breakfast."

~

Eddie was tidying up in the kitchen, waiting for Buck to finish dressing, when Sophia sidled up to him. "So," she said, leaning on the bench, giving him an up-and-down look. "You're feeling better? Definitely?"

He nodded. "Were you worried?"

"Yeah, because your husband has been freaked out for the last two weeks about your fragile state of mind. You know when I got here, and you told me that I should look into therapy?" she raised her eyebrows at him pointedly. " _Dude._ "

He sighed, shaking his head. "I told Buck I don't want to do therapy."

"Why is therapy okay for everyone else, but not for you?"

He let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head at her. "Because I only want to talk to Buck about stuff."

"Buck can't give you… pointers on how to deal with things, when you're having a bad time," she said delicately.

"Soph, are you really in a position to judge me right now?"

"Yes, always," she retorted, pinching his hip. "I'm living here; I get to tell you what to do. It's just like when we were kids, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you bossing me around," he complained. "You and Adriana teaming up against me. It's supposed to be youngest against the oldest, you know. You and I were meant to be a team."

Sophia shrugged, picking up her handbag. "What can I say? You're not as cool as she is. It's not a criticism."

"How long did you say you were staying here again?" Eddie asked, rinsing his hands in the sink. "I might have to ask you for rent."

Sophia pouted at him. "But you love having me here."

"Do we?" Buck asked as he entered the kitchen, fastening his watch. "I second the rent comment. Are we ready to go?"

Sophia glanced out into the living room, where the four children were waiting for them. "Yeah, looks it. Hey Buck, tell your husband he needs therapy."

"That's his decision to make, not mine," Buck replied, pocketing his wallet and keys. "Thanks for your input."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you two are dumb. And I'm not paying rent. Kids! Let's go."

~

Their work day passed by unusually smoothly. Eddie spent most of the day with Hen, re-stocking the ambulance and listening to Buck and Chimney teasing each other near the fire engine.

"You're just saying that because you know she likes me best," Buck's voice wafted towards them.

"She's a toddler; she doesn't have favourites – but if she did, it would be Albert."

"What are you talking about? Albert's not half the uncle I am! She and I have bonded, Chim. We get each other."

"She's one, Buck! You make a funny face, she laughs! It's not that hard to bond!"

Hen let out a chuckle, shaking her head. "They're lucky I find them amusing."

"That makes one of us," Eddie said dryly, as a crash echoed through the station, followed by Chimney's exasperated groan.

"Buck! Can you be a little bit gentle?"

"Not until you admit I'm the favourite uncle," Buck shot back.

Hen passed Eddie another bundle of wound pads and said, "You both seem to be in better moods today."

"Yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but we're okay," Eddie replied, flashing a reassuring smile. "I'm okay."

Hen sat back, assessing him. "Are you? You've been pretty down the last few weeks. I know you've been trying to hide it, and I know… you went through something pretty traumatic, but… we're all worried."

"No, I'm okay," he said, meeting her eyes. "I… needed to process it, and talk it through with Buck. I just needed some time."

"He hasn't said much, but we've all seen him fretting about you," she replied. "I can't imagine what it's like to actually work with your spouse and then go home together and try to process everything that we see in a day. Sometimes I just want to be alone – Karen and I have a signal. If I need some space, I text her three black hearts, and she knows I'm going to get a burger or something before I come home. Sometimes I even stop into the bookshop near our house and just… wander around for a while. It's dumb, but I find it soothing."

"It's not dumb," he replied. "I get it. I think… I was so used to being on my own, you know? Being a single father, and dealing with every issue that came up on my own, having to make all the decisions… I worried that I would struggle not having total and complete control. Instead… it's the opposite. I don't want to be alone; I don't… want to be apart. I still have trouble… communicating sometimes, but… he makes me feel better." He paused, and then said, "And honestly, I think that started after we first met, and we've just continued it, you know? Like… after the earthquake, Buck drove me to pick up Christopher, and… I could've said no. He didn't need to do that, but it was nice to have someone caring about me, for a change. And honestly, I knew Christopher would love him."

"Well, everyone loves Buck," she said matter-of-factly. "That boy just brings out the best in people – you included. He's made you more open and at ease with yourself; not so tense all the time. But I know… things haven't been easy lately, with Cooper. I know he drives you nuts."

"And you," Eddie pointed out.

She shrugged. "Yeah, but I think he's mostly harmless. I mean… easily distracted," she clarified, raising her eyebrows at him, "but for the most part good-intentioned. Though he does not like you."

"The feeling is mutual," Eddie muttered.

"Yeah, well, he won't be hanging around here if he passes his probation," she said. "He's already talking about transferring. I think he knows he doesn't really have a future here; that none of us… trust him. Not after what happened."

"But he didn't get fired," Eddie pointed out, somewhat bitterly.

"Yeah, he got lucky there," she replied, rolling her eyes. "But I wouldn't worry too much about Cooper. It's only a few more months and he's gone. You can do this; you got this."

He grinned, and nodded. "Yeah, I've toughed it out with worse in the army. He just bugs the crap out of me. He's always looking at Buck."

Hen hooted with laughter. "I knew it. I _knew it._ You think he's got eyes on your man."

"He does," he hissed at her.

"Yeah, I know he does, he's always checking Buck out, and rolling his eyes behind your back," she teased. "I don't miss anything that happens in this station. You know that."

"I hate it," he grumbled, jamming a medical bag back into the cabinet as she laughed at him. "No, stop. I hate it! And Buck has no idea."

"None," she agreed, totally amused. "When Cooper is looking at him, he's looking at you. That boy has done nothing for the past four years but look at you, you know."

"Good thing I married him," he said, a little smugly.

Hen chuckled. "You two were made for each other."

As if on cue, Buck leaned in through the open doors of the ambulance, smiling at Eddie. "You want a coffee?"

"Sure," he replied. "Want some company?"

"Always."

Eddie stood, winking at Hen. "You're on your own."

"Yeah, yeah, just don't screw up my coffee order."

~

Carla was waiting for them when they arrived home, assisting Christopher with his homework. Sophia had been pre-warned that a big discussion was about to happen, was with her children in the backyard. She'd even set them up with easels and paints, so they could create masterpieces on big sheets of white paper.

"How was school?" Eddie asked Christopher, taking a seat at the table beside him. "Did you have a good day?"

Carla met his eyes and shook her head slightly.

Christopher heaved a sigh and said, "It was fine."

"Did you have another math quiz?" Buck asked, sliding into a seat across from him.

"Yeah." Christopher looked glum.

"He tried his best," Carla reassured him, rubbing his back.

"What did your teacher say?" Eddie asked curiously.

Christopher shrugged, throwing his pen down on the table. "He didn't say anything."

That was a relief – at least Mr Stewart wasn't taking his dislike for Buck and Eddie out on Christopher.

Carla passed Eddie the math quiz, and he looked through it quickly. He'd done slightly better than before, but still not great. Eddie passed it to Buck, and then nodded at Carla.

"So Christopher," she said gently, "your dads want to talk to you about math."

A look of panic crossed his face. "I'm trying, I really am," he said urgently. "I just… can't _do it_."

"We know," Eddie reassured him. "We understand. We know you're trying."

"Sometimes there are things we need extra help with," Buck added. "And we think math might be one of those things for you."

Christopher screwed his face up. "I don't want extra help; I just want to be like everyone else and be able to _do it._ "

Eddie exchanged a look with Buck, and then said, "Not everyone can do everything perfectly, you know? We've talked about this."

"I don't want to be any more different," Christopher practically whispered, pressing his hands to his face. "I hate being different."

"Kiddo, you've never let anything stop you before," Buck reminded him. "This is just a bump in the road. Everyone has bumps in the road."

Christopher nodded, on the verge of tears.

Eddie touched his arm gently and said, "Chris, you know I've had a rough couple of weeks, right?"

He looked up at him with watery eyes. "Uh huh."

"Sometimes, even when things are good… there are hiccups," Eddie tried to explain. "And even though we want things to be perfect all the time, they're just not. Work hasn't been perfect for me lately, but I'm going to try to work through the problems so I'm not feeling as bad. You know what I mean?"

He nodded, wiping his eyes. "Okay."

"There's something called dyscalculia," Carla said gently. "It means your brain has a hard time processing math. It could be the reason why you've been struggling so much. It's never been your favourite subject."

"No." Christopher's voice was almost inaudible.

"So they'll do an assessment of you at school, and we'll work out if you have dyscalculia – and if you do, we'll have tools to help you figure out math," Carla explained. "And if not, we still have plenty of options."

Christopher looked up at Eddie and said, "I wish I was good at one thing."

"What do you mean?" he asked with concern.

"Jake can skate, and Liam plays basketball, and Ella paints, and I can't do _anything._ " A helpless, despondent expression crossed his face. "I'm not good at anything."

Stunned, Eddie said, "Chris, that's not true, at all. You're great at English – you love to read, and you can write, and you understand exactly how to string a sentence together. Your teachers always comment on your book reports, and especially when you have to write stories – you're so good at it. You're not good at math, but you know what? I'm not great at it, and neither is Buck."

Christopher turned to Buck, who shrugged at him. "Can't add and subtract to save my life, kiddo," he said ruefully. "And you know what? Both Jake and Liam need a little extra help with their schoolwork, don't they? They attend an extra class together on Thursdays, right?"

"Right," Christopher murmured. "They mix their words up."

"Nobody's perfect, and nobody is good at everything," Eddie said, grasping Christopher's shoulder. "Nobody will judge you for needing a little extra help with math."

"And there are limitations when it comes to physical stuff," Carla said to him, "but there's nothing wrong with your brain, Chris. You're as sharp as a tack."

A look of hope crossed Christopher's face. "I am?"

"You really are. You got all A's in English, history, science – all the important stuff," Eddie reassured him. "And you can be good at math as well, once we figure out what's going on."

Christopher nodded, and leaned against Eddie's shoulder. "Okay."

"Okay." Eddie kissed the top of his head. "The principal is going to set up an assessment for you. And Chris… you and Mr Stewart get along okay, don't you?"

He nodded. "He's funny. He tells jokes and he has little rhymes and stuff. He has a dog named Rufus."

"And you're happy in your class? You like your class?" Carla asked.

"Yeah, I just wish I was better at it." His lower lip stuck out. "But I like Mr Stewart. He's always nice to me."

* * *

"It's just us then," Buck said to Eddie later that night, as they settled down with Sophia at the dining table to play a round of Uno before bed. "The teacher just hates us."

Eddie shrugged at him. "It's me, mostly. I was a dick."

"How many times have I told you that you have to schmooze these people?" Sophia asked, pouring herself a glass of wine. "I mean, really, Eddie. It's not hard."

He rolled his eyes at her and took the wine bottle out of her hands. "Maybe I need a softer touch."

"Oh no, ya think?" she teased. "When it comes to Christopher, it doesn't take much to set you off."

"True," Buck agreed, resting his head on his hand, smiling at Eddie fondly.

Eddie poured them both glasses of wine, shaking his head. "I love my kid, okay. I'm sorry that I get a little defensive sometimes."

"A little defensive," Sophia murmured, and sipped her wine. "That's the understatement of the century."

"Ha ha. Shut up." Eddie capped the bottle and looked over at Buck. "I'll feel better once we know what's going on."

"Carla seems to think that's what's going on," Buck replied. "I've already done some digging about finding a tutor, and Principal Summers said the school can assist as well."

"It's just one more thing, you know? One more thing for him to deal with," Eddie said unhappily, swirling the wine around in his glass. "I don't want him to have anymore obstacles."

"He's always going to have obstacles," Sophia pointed out. "He has CP. He will have ongoing therapy and doctor's appointments. You said there's a possibility he'll need another surgery in the next few years. But that's what having kids is – it's a constant stream of obstacles that you have to overcome. I mean, look at my little Lila – the poor kid is wearing coke bottle glasses and she's only six years old, like… it's just one thing after another, Eddie. Always."

"You're not supposed to be wiser than me," he complained. "You're my little sister."

"I have three kids," she said bluntly. "They are hard work, especially now that I’m doing it all on my own – well, I kinda was before, but I didn't have to work then."

"But you like the call centre," Buck said. "Right?"

"Yeah, I do – I really like it; everyone has been great, the hours work for my schedule and I can still study at night," she said with a nod. "I just… I keep thinking that I'm not any good at it. I don't have the confidence yet, you know? Maddie and Josh have been great, Sue is wonderful… Maddie lets me team up with her, because I just… I worry that if I answer a call on my own, I'm going to freeze up."

"You're not going to freeze up," Buck said to her. "Soph – if there's one thing I know about the Diaz family, it's that you're all tough, stubborn and always think you're right."

"We are always right," Eddie and Sophia said at the same time, and then grinned at each other.

He grinned. "The point is – you combine all of that with how smart you are, and capable, and there's no way you're going to freeze. There's a reason Maddie suggested this job for you. I know you're going to be an amazing wedding planner, but you know how to talk to people, and – unlike your sister – you're warm. Not everyone can be a 911 operator, but you can. I have total confidence in you."

Sophia's eyes were sparkling. "I love you, Evan Buckley-hyphen-Diaz," she said, reaching across the table to take his hand. "You are the sweetest."

He blushed, and gave a modest shrug. "I'm just calling it like I see it – but hey, we're dropping the hyphen. I'm going to be Evan Buckley Diaz, no hyphen. Diaz as the last name."

"I thought you liked the hyphen," she said to them.

"We changed our minds," Eddie replied, "but Chris and I are adding Buckley to our names as well. We've got all the paperwork filled out; just need to file it."

"Well, how is anyone going to tell you apart if your names are the same on your coats?" she pointed out.

"I'll keep the hyphen on the coat," he said with a grin.

"You could've just done this from the start."

"We didn't realise how much of a nuisance it would be," Eddie replied, opening the pack of cards. "And you know what this means, Soph – he's taken the last name officially, so he's one of us. He's not Evan Buckley anymore – he's Evan Diaz."

Sophia sucked in a breath. "Ooh, buddy. You're going to have to toughen up."

"Nah," Buck replied nonchalantly. "I just work my magic, flash the ol' baby blues, and you guys love it. I've got you all charmed."

"Me especially," Eddie said, and leaned across to kiss him impulsively. When he sat down again, he began to shuffle the cards, and murmured, "But I'm going to absolutely destroy you in this game. I love you, baby."

Buck grinned, arching his eyebrows. "We'll see about that."

~

In the end, Buck won four out of six games, a fact he smugly reiterated as he and Eddie curled up in bed together. "I mean, I'm not saying you're terrible at Uno," he said, as Eddie huffed and pouted beside him, "I'm just saying you kinda suck at it."

"Shut up."

"You won _once._ "

"I didn't get good cards! And you kept Draw Four-ing me!"

"I don't make the rules; I just play the game." Buck flipped off the light, pulling him in close. "Hey… next weekend, when everyone is at Disneyland. You just want to stay here?"

"Yep," Eddie replied, cuddling up to him. "We haven't had sex in weeks, and I plan to make every second count."

"You know what I could do," Buck murmured, walking his fingers up Eddie's arm. "I could put on the chaps and my cowboy hat for you, if you wear your stripper outfit again."

"I'd like to see that." Eddie leaned in to kiss him, smiling against his lips.

"You're a lot happier," Buck commented. "People have noticed."

"I feel a lot better, actually. Like the fog has lifted." Eddie played with Buck's nipple ring absently. "I'm sorry, you know… about being in a funk for so long."

"It's okay. It happens."

"I was thinking about therapy… maybe I will look into it. Someone independent, not through the department," he said, to Buck's surprise. "Find someone I actually like."

"That's a good idea," he replied.

"And maybe you should too, if you're still… feeling guilty about stuff you don't need to feel guilty for," Eddie said delicately. "Like the tsunami."

"Ah," Buck said knowingly. "I see what you're doing. I tell you something in confidence—"

"No, I'm just… worried about you," Eddie clarified. "But if you don't want it, that's fine too."

Buck nodded, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. The truth was that he'd considered it more than once, but… he'd never particularly enjoyed the experience, and hadn't really felt as though he'd gained any benefit from it. But if Eddie was worried about him… maybe it was worth giving it another try.

"Maybe," he said finally. "I'll think about it."

"Okay." Eddie kissed his cheek, and then settled down to sleep. "I love you."

"I love you too."

~

Although Eddie was still on edge around Cooper, their work week went by smoothly, with no major disasters. They had the night shift over the weekend, though Cooper wasn't rostered on, and Sophia stayed with the kids at the house for the first time on her own. She had both Buck and Eddie on speed dial, and every hour until she went to bed, they received "still alive" updates in their group chat.

She wasn't too worried that Martin would come out to LA looking for her – his whole life was in El Paso, and Sophia figured he would simply let her go and find someone else.

But you could never be too cautious, and after what had happened with Maddie, Buck took no chances. Chimney had installed an alarm system in the house and motion-activated security cameras outside the weekend after Sophia had made her big escape, and if it detected any issues, both Buck and Eddie would receive instant notifications on their phones.

Thankfully, there were no incidents, and they returned home on Sunday afternoon to find Christopher desperate for some attention.

"They're driving me _nuts_ ," he said to Buck when they were alone in his bedroom.

"I know, kiddo," Buck replied, taking a seat on the floor. "They won't be here forever. I thought you liked having your cousins around."

"It's _fine._ " Christopher planted a hand on Buck's shoulder, bracing himself, and then carefully sat on the floor beside him. "When do I have to have that test thing?"

"In a couple of weeks. We haven't been given the date yet." Buck studied him. "You're worried?"

"Yeah…" Christopher trailed off unhappily, his eyes on the floor. "Yeah."

"It'll be okay. Whatever happens, we'll figure it out," he replied. "Nothing's gonna stop you, kiddo."

Christopher smiled up at him. "You think?"

"Yep, because I know you and your Dad," Buck said, as the door to the room opened and Eddie stepped in with a bowl of popcorn. "You and your Dad don't let anything get in your way. If you decide you want something, you go out and get it."

"What are you talking about?" Eddie asked curiously, setting the bowl down on the bed. Max immediately jumped up and tried to put his head in it, so Eddie swiftly lifted it again and placed it on the bookshelf.

"We're talking about the outcome of the dyscalculia assessment," Buck said, sliding an arm around Christopher's shoulders, "and how no matter what happens, he's going to land on his feet."

Eddie sat down across from them, grabbing Battleship from the stack of games on the shelf. "Right," he said, smiling at Christopher. "You're our kid, and you're going to get through this."

Christopher gave Eddie a long look. "Are you still sad?"

Eddie hesitated, his eyes flicking to Buck briefly. "I'm feeling a lot better," he replied. "Were you worried about me?"

He nodded. "I hate it when you're not happy. It's not me, is it?"

Buck's heart seized, and the same look of panic briefly flashed across Eddie's face before he leaned across, took Christopher's hands and said seriously, "Buddy, it is absolutely _not you._ I promise you."

"It's not because I’m bad at math?" Christopher whispered fearfully.

" _No_ ," Eddie said firmly. "I was angry at your teacher for upsetting you, but I am not mad at you, at all. I would never be mad at you for something you can't control."

"Then why?" Christopher asked softly.

"Why was I upset?" Eddie's eyes flicked to Buck, and then he said, "Something bad happened at work, and… I had a hard time dealing with it. I should've been honest about how I was feeling but instead I tried to keep it to myself, which never works. So I talked things through with Buck and now I'm feeling a lot better."

Christopher nodded, glancing down at Max, who was making himself comfortable in his lap. "Okay."

All three were silent for a moment, until Buck said, "You two share the same bad habit, you know. When something upsets you, you don't want to talk about it."

Christopher looked over at Eddie, who shrugged and smiled at him ruefully. "Like father, like son," he said, and reached out to ruffle his hair.

"So I've got to keep you two in line," Buck said with a shrug, "which means that if you two are upset, I'm going to badger you until you tell me what's wrong."

Eddie rolled his eyes and shook his head. "We're fine."

"No, you're both stubborn," Buck said, hugging Christopher close. "But I balance it all out."

"You can be pretty stubborn too," Eddie pointed out, grabbing the bowl of popcorn, and setting it between them. "But the point is, Chris, that we'll always talk to each other about what's going on, even if it's hard."

"Communication," Buck added, flipping open the board game lid. "And now let's beat your dad at Battleship."

"Hey," Eddie protested. "Aren't Chris and I on the same team?"

"No, because when you two team up, it's like an evil duo, and I can never win," Buck replied, setting up the game. "So Chris and I are a team and you're on your own."

"This is unbelievable," Eddie muttered. "My own husband and son, against me."

Christopher was giggling, leaning against Buck's shoulder. "And Max as well."

"Well, you're both going to regret this," Eddie murmured, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he arranged his battleships. "I'm going to win."

Buck exchanged a look with Christopher, shrugging. "We'll see."

~

Eddie beat them handily, a fact they protested about – "It's not fair, because you were in the army!"

"The army, not the navy! There's a difference!"

"Whatever, it's an unfair advantage," Buck complained.

To his shock, Christopher said, "I want to play against you both, alone."

"Alone?! But I was helping!" he protested.

Christopher shook his head, gesturing for Buck to sit with Eddie. "I don't need your help for this."

Buck met Eddie's amazed eyes, and then said, "Okay, fine – I'm hurt, sure, but wow, okay." He shifted so he was sitting beside Eddie, who patted his back affectionately, and then turned his attention to Christopher.

"You love pairing up with Buck," he said suspiciously. "What's brought this on?"

"I want to win," Christopher said matter-of-factly.

Amused, but also a little hurt, Buck said, "It kinda feels like you two think I'm bad at this game."

"We do," they said at the same time, sharing a grin.

"Unbelievable." Buck moved so he was behind Eddie, with his legs stretched out on either side, his arms around his waist. "Then show me how it's done; I won't say a thing."

"You better not. Let's go, kiddo. B5."

Christopher shook his head. "Nope. C7."

Buck watched in silence, resting his chin on Eddie's shoulder. It became apparent very quickly that Christopher had a plan of attack, and Eddie's battleships were vulnerable.

"He's going to win," Buck teased him.

Eddie shook his head, focused on the game. "Shh."

Buck could read Eddie's mind – there was an internal struggle raging. Should he let Christopher win, or should he put up a fight and try to beat him? After landing a blow to one of Christopher's battleships and watching his son grimace, Eddie leaned back into Buck's arms, his lips drawn.

"Life lessons," Buck murmured in his ear.

Eddie nodded, and when Christopher announced his next move, he'd landed another direct hit. Eddie groaned and said, "That's a hit."

Christopher let out a gleeful shout, wiggling with happiness, fumbling to put the marker on the board.

Eddie was serious again, tapping his fingers against his chin. He finally said, "D6."

And just like that, Christopher's face fell – he might've been good at the game, but he had a terrible poker face, and Buck could see the pattern forming as to where Christopher's ships were. Eddie's guesses were strategic, whereas Christopher seemed to be guessing randomly and hoping for hits.

The writing was on the wall, and sure enough, Eddie won. Christopher looked disappointed, but when Eddie turned the board around, his eyes widened.

"You were really close," Eddie said encouragingly. "You nearly had me, kiddo. We'll play again, and you'll be beating me in no time."

A slow smile crossed Christopher's face. "Right now?" he asked hopefully.

Eddie checked his watch. "Okay, one more game," he said. "You're flying solo again?"

"Uh huh."

"I guess I'll just have to rely on my good luck charm," Eddie said, patting Buck's leg.

Buck sighed. "That's all I am to you, isn't it?"

Eddie kissed his cheek loyally. "Yep."

Christopher came close again – very close, and even Eddie was sweating – but Eddie ultimately won again. Father and son eyed each other, and then Christopher declared, "I _am_ going to beat you."

"I have no doubt," Eddie replied, and threw a kernel of popcorn at his nose. "But not today!"

" _Dad!_ "

* * *

Adriana and her children blew into their lives like a hurricane on Friday morning, all amped up and ready for a weekend at Disney. Christopher had the day off school so he could accompany his cousins, and all the children were shrieking with excitement and running around the backyard while Buck and Eddie gave Adriana a quick tour of the house. Sophia was alternately shouting at her children and desperately trying to finish packing.

Adriana sat on the bed in the master bedroom, looked around with raised eyebrows and said, "So, where's all the kinky stuff?"

"As if we'd tell you," Eddie shot back.

"Oh please, I know exactly what you two are going to be doing for two nights without kids," she teased. "What time does your shift finish today?"

"Seven," Buck replied, leaning against the doorframe. "We're going out to dinner."

That was a lie, but she didn't need to know that. They were planning on ordering in all weekend.

"Right," she replied, unconvinced. "Sure. How's everything going, anyway? You all good after your dive off the pier?"

Eddie nodded, glancing at Buck. "Yeah, I'm doing a lot better."

"Soph said you were an angry little ant for a few days. Where'd you get this bedspread?" she asked, running her hands over it. "It's nice."

Eddie turned to Buck helplessly, and Buck said, "It's from Bed, Bath & Beyond. Everything is from Bed, Bath & Beyond. I went on a spending spree after we moved in."

"I might have a little look," she murmured, making a note in her phone. "Okay. So listen – Grant and I saw Martin the other week," she said, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "He's got himself a new woman."

Eddie rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "She told me ages ago she thought he was cheating."

"Oh yeah, definitely. Anyway, you know who it is? That girl you used to go to school with, the one you dated? Maria, I think her name is? They're an item."

Buck raised his eyebrows at Eddie, grinning. Eddie let out a laugh and said, "Wow, okay. She was pretty devastated to find out that I was married."

"Well, I'm happy to tell you that she's moved on," Adriana replied, examining her nails. "They'll make a lovely couple. God, she was such a bitch. I'm glad you dumped her. Anyway, I haven't told Soph yet, but I will – and do you guys want me to bring you back anything from Disney?"

"We've given Christopher some cash," Eddie replied. "I put the money in your account for accommodation and food for him. Buck and I don't need anything."

"Speak for yourself," Buck said archly. "I would like some of those cookies you get on Main Street. A bag of them."

"Done," she replied. "Flavour?"

"Choc chip. And some peanut brittle, if they have it."

"Deal. Eddie?"

"I'll eat some of Buck's," he said. "If he's sharing."

Buck pulled him into his arms, kissing his neck. "I always share with you, babe." Eddie smiled with satisfaction, leaning against him happily.

Adriana rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'll surprise you. Remember – Maddie, Chimney and Charlotte are coming for dinner on Sunday night, and you two don't have to do a thing, I have it covered. All right?"

"I can help," Buck offered.

She laughed at him. "I'm not cooking, Buckaroo – I've hired a caterer."

"A caterer?!" Eddie exclaimed. "Jesus Christ, it's six adults and a bunch of children—"

"And we're having a nice meal, Edmundo, and I won't hear any complaints from you!"

"Oh my god will you two shut up?" Sophia shouted at them from the other end of the hallway. "I can't hear myself think!"

"Calm down, Sophia, it's not that bad!" Adriana called, rolling her eyes.

"Was this what it was like to grow up in the Diaz household?" Buck asked, his head on Eddie's shoulder, swaying from side to side.

"Yeah, only they usually ganged up on me," Eddie complained.

~

After spending a few extra minutes reiterating to Christopher that he only had a hundred dollars and he wasn't allowed to go crazy in the gift shop, and then bidding everyone goodbye, Buck and Eddie headed to work. It was a mostly quiet morning – Bobby had to run through some training procedures with everyone, which resulted in Buck nearly falling asleep against Eddie's shoulder.

In the afternoon, Eddie was alone in the gym, putting in some time with the boxing bag while Buck watched him from across the station – pretending that he was invested in the conversation between the rest of the group, while his eyes were trained on Eddie.

And _maybe_ Eddie was putting on a bit of a performance for him, dressed in a gaping black tank top and clingy grey sweatpants, and _maybe_ he'd stop and wipe sweat from his brow every so often, arching his back as though he was stretching it out, just to rile Buck up a little more. _Maybe._

After half an hour he'd had enough, and ripped his gloves off, wandering over to take a seat on the bench. Buck broke away from the group and made a beeline for him, a smile on his face that died quickly when Cooper intercepted him.

"Hey, can we talk? Please?" Cooper asked, a little desperately. "I know you're still pissed at me but… I need someone to talk to."

Buck threw Eddie a glance, stopping in his tracks. "Okay. What's up?"

"Can we talk in private?"

Buck raised his eyebrows, his hands on his hips, and said, "Okay. Yeah. Sure."

Eddie watched Cooper lead him away, his stomach twisted into knots.

* * *

"What's up, man?" Buck asked – they were in the back carpark, and Cooper was pacing back and forth unhappily.

"I need some advice," he said, "and I know you hate me, but… I don't have anyone else to ask."

"I don't hate you."

"Well, I would understand if you did, because I nearly got your husband killed."

Buck tried not to flinch, as the image of the car driving over the side of the pier briefly flashing into his mind. "Yep."

"And I'm sorry, again," Cooper stressed. "Even though you and Eddie don't want to hear it."

"We're not here to talk about that. What's wrong?" Buck folded his arms across his chest, desperate to head back inside and take Eddie into the showers.

Cooper stopped pacing, turning his face to the sky. "I just feel like I ruined everything here. Like… I really loved working here, and now everybody hates me. I know I should've gotten fired."

"Yeah," Buck replied. "You should've."

Cooper grimaced. "But I really want to do this job and be good at it, and I know you used to steal fire engines and stuff – like I know you were just as bad—"

"Just as bad? I never nearly killed a teammate, Coop," Buck interjected.

"That's not what I’m asking," Cooper shot back. "I just want to know how you turned it around."

Buck sighed, glancing over at the entrance to the station again, wondering what Eddie was doing. "I grew up, learned my lesson, and stopped being a dick. You just need to give everyone time, you know. They all know you don't like Eddie—"

"He doesn't like me."

"It's mutual, and you know it. What I'm saying is that if you want to stay here, you need to put your head down, do the work and _grow up._ "

Cooper grimaced. "I just want to be good at this job, and I just… keep fucking up. And I really like you, Buck – like, I thought you were my friend, but now…"

Buck suddenly felt a little sorry for the guy. He tapped his foot on the concrete and said, "You just have to chill out, man. Do your job and stop complaining. If you put the effort in, people will come around."

"You really think so?" Cooper gave him a hopeful look.

"Yeah," he replied, as Eddie appeared in the door to the station, beckoning to him. "But I gotta go." He took a couple of strides to the door, stopping when Cooper said his name again urgently. "What?"

"Maybe we could grab a beer sometime, when you're not still mad at me," he suggested. "I really do like you."

Buck was confused – there was no world in which he'd grab a beer with Cooper, but he decided to be non-committal about it. "We'll see," he replied, and jogged over to the station, where Eddie was waiting for him.

"What'd he want?" Eddie asked, still in his gym gear, falling into stop beside Buck as they walked to the locker room.

"To apologise again," he replied, resting his hand on Eddie's elbow. "And to ask me for advice about how to make everyone like him again."

"What'd you say?"

"That he just needs to shut up and do his job." Buck held the door open for Eddie and followed him inside. "You're very, very sweaty."

Eddie laughed, flashing him a grin. "I know. I'm about to have a shower."

"I could watch?"

Eddie tilted his head from side to side playfully and said, "Okay, but that's all you get to do. Nothing until tonight."

"Deal," Buck agreed eagerly, trailing after him into the shower room. They were alone, and he followed Eddie into a stall and leaned against the door, filled with anticipation.

"This is weird," Eddie whispered to him, stripping out of his clothes.

"Yeah, no it's good, it's really good," Buck whispered back, biting on his lower lip. "You look amazing."

Eddie chuckled, pulling his sweats off, and dumping them in Buck's arms. "You think I look good in anything."

"And nothing," he murmured, already struggling to control himself. "I can't wait for tonight."

"You have to," Eddie ordered, naked, pointing a finger at him. "No touching."

"But…"

"No. Now be quiet," he said, turning on the shower, water cascading over his shoulders. "And just watch."

Buck watched in silence, totally aroused despite the fact that Eddie wasn't doing anything particularly out of the ordinary or sexy, simply having a quick shower – maybe it was because they hadn't had sex in a few weeks, or the anticipation building for their weekend alone, or maybe it was the simple fact that there was never a moment in his life where he didn't find Eddie insanely attractive - he could be watching him vacuum and still find it hot.

Eddie threw him a glance, turning around, displaying his perfect ass. "Enjoying the show?"

Buck bit down hard on his lip, nodding.

"Your turn tonight, okay? I get to watch you."

"Whatever you want, Eds. Literally – _whatever you fucking want_."

~

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur – thankfully they weren't responding to any emergencies, because Buck could hardly focus on anything other than Eddie. They were stuck together like glue – even Hen commented on it, sharing a knowing look with Chimney, but Eddie just gave that coquettish little smirk of his and shrugged.

They were finally able to make their escape, and Buck practically dragged Eddie out to the jeep, desperate for some privacy.

"Calm down," Eddie laughed, as Buck sped away from the station. "Let's not die on the way home, all right?"

"Yep, yep," he replied, totally worked up. "I'm fine; I'm concentrating."

"Yeah, I can see what you're concentrating on," Eddie remarked, as Buck glanced over at him again. "Eyes on the road."

"Okay, okay."

They drove in silence for a few minutes, until Eddie finally said, "Do you know we've lived in this house for nearly three months and this is the first time we've ever spent any time alone in it? We've only had sex in the bathroom and in our bedroom."

"Well, we have a kid," Buck pointed out, itching to strip out of his clothes. "And do you know this is the longest we've gone without sex since we got together?"

"Yeah, I know, and I'm fucking dying for it," Eddie said with a groan. "I'm thinking… we have tomorrow off, so it's… a solid thirty-six hours of total and complete nudity. No visitors, no leaving the house – just you and me, and the special box you keep in the top of the closet."

"Oh, you're serious," Buck teased him. "You're really serious about this."

"If we're not having sex within five minutes of walking through that door, I'll divorce you," Eddie warned.

Buck laughed. "You'd miss me too much. We'd be remarried again in a week."

"True." Eddie turned in his seat, biting his lower lip, eyes trained on Buck. "You know what I'm gonna do to you?"

His pants began to feel extremely tight. "No."

"When we get in that door, I'm giving you the best blow job of your life," Eddie said in a low voice, "and then we're going upstairs and I'm going to fuck you until you're screaming my name."

Buck's stomach clenched with want. "You better fucking deliver on these promises, Diaz."

"Oh, you know I'm gonna."

~

True to his word, as soon as they were inside the house, Eddie had him up against the front door, practically ripping him out of his clothes. Unwilling to disrupt the very specific fantasy Eddie seemed to have in mind, Buck happily went with it, and when Eddie dropped to his knees in front of him and licked a stripe up the underside of his cock, gazing up at him with hooded eyes, he almost came then and there.

Over two weeks without sex, and as his husband gave him the most enthusiastic blow job of his life, Buck struggled to maintain his composure before coming embarrassingly quickly. When Eddie was upright again, and their lips were tangled in a messy kiss, they only made it as far as the couch - where Buck threw a still fully dressed Eddie down, straddled him, and tore his t-shirt in his hurry to rip it off.

He was busily undoing Eddie's belt when he realised Eddie was simply lying back with his hands folded behind his head, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Buck stopped what he was doing, raising his eyebrows. "What?"

"You look like you're unwrapping a gift," he said.

Buck smirked. "I am."

~

They somehow made their way to the bedroom, and collapsed into bed together, rolling around, kissing, and touching. Eddie sucked Buck's nipple as he fingered him, leaning in every so often to claim his lips in a messy kiss. All Buck could do was writhe on the sheets, throwing his head back whenever Eddie purposefully brushed against his prostate.

And then Eddie grabbed his leg, put his foot on his shoulder and guided his cock inside, excruciatingly slowly, until Buck was breathing raggedly and staring up at him wild eyes, desperate for some friction.

That was when Eddie stopped, pressed a kiss to his ankle and then said, "Did you miss me?"

Buck nodded vigorously, propping himself on his elbows, practically bending in half when Eddie leaned in to kiss him hungrily. He had missed him, even though they'd been together every single day and night – Eddie in a funk wasn't his _Eddie_. His beautiful, confident, sexy husband was finally back together again, and Buck was so fucking relieved.

When they parted, Eddie smiled down at him, before his eyebrows knitted together with concern. "You okay?" he asked urgently, pulling back. "You're crying."

Buck touched his cheek wonderingly, and then let out a laugh. "Yeah, it's just… happiness," he admitted, a lump in his throat. "I was so worried about you."

Eddie bit his lip, lowered Buck's leg, and leaned over him again, pressing his lips to his cheeks, kissing away his tears. "I'm okay now," he whispered, and slowly began to roll his hips. "I'm okay now, baby."

Buck nodded, wrapping his arms around him in a hug, pressing his face against Eddie's neck as they moved together as one on the bed, the only sound in the room their ragged breathing.

* * *

All night and the following morning were spent in bed, leaving only to grab water, snacks and to feed the cat. Max was most unhappy about Christopher not being at home, so much so that he simply flicked his tail at Eddie when he tried to pat him and sauntered back down the hallway to Christopher's bedroom.

By lunchtime they were both starving and ordered a feast to be delivered. That meant having to put pants on and leave the nest they'd made in the bedroom, but that was okay, because Buck pulled on his crop top and a pair of denim shorts, flashing Eddie the smuggest grin as he strolled out of the room.

Eddie was aware that he didn't need to wear many clothes to attract Buck's attention, but he decided to give him a little thrill. He pulled on his tightest blue jeans, a red plaid shirt and Buck's cowboy hat, and then followed him downstairs.

Buck took one look at him and dropped the bottle of water he was holding. "Fuck _me_."

Eddie leaned against the kitchen door, raising his eyebrows. "Howdy."

"How- _dy_ ," Buck breathed, raking his eyes up and down his body. "Can you… you didn't want to wear the chaps?"

"You want me to?"

Buck bit his lip, nodding eagerly. "Please. They're in the box."

Eddie shrugged, and headed for the stairs. "Okay. Anything you want."

He returned to the bedroom and found the chaps, struggling with them for a few minutes before finally figuring out how to tie them up. He went back downstairs and found Buck waiting for him impatiently, a paper bag of food sitting on the dining room table.

Eddie held his arms out, spinning in a slow circle. "You like?"

Buck gripped the back of a chair with both hands, nodding vigorously. "Yes. Yes, god. Can I take a photo?"

"No," Eddie complained, but Buck was already fumbling for his phone. "Baby!"

"Just one," he begged. "Please. I'll put it in a private folder – just one photo, for me. Please, Eds. Please. I need this."

Eddie sighed, but decided to make the most of it. He leaned against the wall, stretching one arm over his head, trying to elongate his body – Adriana and Sophia had forced him to watch several seasons of _America's Next Top Model_ when they were kids – tipped the hat back a bit, and looked over at Buck with what he hoped was an appropriately seductive expression. Lips pursed, brow furrowed, jaw tilted up – it must have worked, because Buck was bright pink as he snapped the picture, and then practically growled, " _Get over here."_

"Lunch first," Eddie said, just to be annoying, and Buck groaned. "You're not going to fuck me like I want you to on an empty stomach, so let's eat."

"You're a fucking tease," Buck hissed, leaning across the table.

"Right back at you, babe. You know what you're doing to me in that outfit," Eddie retorted, and then grinned at him. "But I mean, we _could_ eat in bed."

Buck looked at the bag of food, and then at Eddie. "Yeah," he agreed, "but… the burgers will get cold."

"So we should eat now."

"I guess… the longer we eat, the longer you wear that outfit, and I'm cool with that," Buck said, though he discreetly adjusted himself as he sat at the table.

"I guess so," Eddie agreed, undoing a couple of buttons on his shirt. "It's pretty hot though."

Buck closed his eyes briefly. "Stop it; you're driving me nuts. Let's eat."

~

There was no stopping Buck once they were finished – he lifted Eddie up and into his arms, carrying him up to the bedroom again, carefully laying him on the end of the bed. He whipped off his shirt and undid his shorts, as Eddie propped himself up on his elbows, legs splayed, watching as Buck stroked himself, staring down at him lustfully.

"You drive me wild," Buck whispered, and Eddie laughed. "I know I tell you that all the time, but it's true. It's really fucking true."

"So have me," Eddie said, stretching his arms up and over his head lazily. "I'm yours."

"Give me a goddamn second, I am drinking you in," Buck retorted.

Eddie smirked, spreading his legs wider, and lifting his hips. "Come on."

"I'm the luckiest man on the planet, holy fuck," Buck whispered and _finally_ reached out to touch him, grabbing his knees and then sliding his hands up his thighs. "The fucking _luckiest._ "

"Actually, I think I am," Eddie murmured.

Buck flashed him an adoring smile before popping open the top button on his jeans and sliding the zipper down. "God, I hope you're not wearing underwear," he said, tugging Eddie's jeans and the chaps down his hips until his cock was free, standing erect, leaking from the tip. "Halle-fucking-lujah," Buck whispered, and dropped to his knees on the floor, wrapping one hand around Eddie's cock, and then sliding his lips over the head.

And just as Eddie had spent all night worshipping every inch of Buck's body, it was his turn, and he was practically vibrating as Buck painstakingly undressed him, and even more painstakingly mapped his body with his mouth, until Eddie was practically lifting off the bed and demanding _more._

So Buck obliged, sliding into his slick entrance with practiced ease – they were on their sides, Buck spooning him from behind, one hand holding Eddie's leg up, and the other wrapped around his chest as he leisurely thrust in and out, sucking and kissing the back of his neck.

Noises were escaping Eddie's lips that he couldn't stop – moaning and breathing loudly, desperate to come but wanting to hold on as long as possible. Buck's hand found his nipple and teased it, flicking it back and forth as he sucked his earlobe and ground his cock against Eddie's prostate.

Eddie keened, arching his back. "Please, please—"

"Mmm," Buck murmured, teeth nipping at his shoulder. "No."

"Please," Eddie begged, rutting against the sheets. "Please—"

"Hold on." Buck lifted his leg a little higher and rocked his hips back and forth rhythmically, and the change in sensation was all it took for Eddie to spill all over their nice sheets, groaning into the pillow. Buck's movements became more erratic, and just because he could, Eddie ground back against him insistently, turning his head to the side so Buck could kiss him as he came.

" _God_ ," Buck breathed against his lips.

"No, the name's Eddie."

Buck snorted, burying his face against Eddie's neck. "Can't help yourself."

Eddie squeezed his hand, nodding. "You know it."

~

"Dads!" Christopher shouted from the back of the car, waving an enormous Goofy toy at them. "Look what I bought!"

"Goofy," Eddie said, puzzled, jogging out to greet them. Both he and Buck were moving a little stiffly, though trying to disguise it.

Christopher thrust the stuffed toy at him as he opened the door, and he tucked it under his arm before leaning in to hug him. "Hey kiddo," he said, kissing his cheek. "Did you have a good time?"

"It was _awesome._ Where's Buck?"

"He's here!" Buck exclaimed from behind them, and when Eddie stepped out, he leaned in and gave Christopher a hug. "Hey, we missed you."

"I missed _you as well_ ," Christopher replied, hanging onto Buck's arm as he carefully exited the car, and then holding his arms out so they could give him a joint hug.

"Okay, he was only away for two nights," Adriana said dryly, and then whistled at her kids. "All right, come on! Go inside and put the TV on."

They rushed into the house, giggling, and she looked at Eddie and said in a low, tired voice, "And give me some _peace and quiet._ "

"Aw," Buck teased, reaching into the backseat to grab Christopher's crutches. "Tired, sis?"

"Shut up, Buck. While you two have been fu- I mean, relaxing all weekend," she retorted, "I have been running all over Disneyland with a horde of children."

"Kids, stop fighting," Sophia shouted, as her three barrelled towards the house. "Oh my god, they're a nightmare. Seriously. I can't wait to have a glass of wine."

"We've already opened a bottle for you," Eddie said, as Buck led Christopher up to the house, the Goofy toy slung over his shoulder. "Why Goofy?"

"He was determined," Adriana remarked, opening the trunk of the car. "We said, are you sure, Christopher? Are you sure you want one giant Goofy? And he said yes."

"And then I lugged it around all freaking afternoon," Sophia complained, pushing her hair off her forehead.

Chuckling, Eddie helped them carry the bags inside, and found Buck in the living room, surrounded by his nieces and nephews and with Christopher on his lap. Max the cat took centre stage, and Buck was showing them how the cat played with a bird on a string, whipping it back and forth to make Max leap and bound gracefully while the children giggled hysterically.

Adriana rolled her eyes, pushing past Eddie. "God, he's annoying. He's like the child whisperer. Next time you two can take the kids and Soph and I will go shopping with Maddie."

Eddie turned to her. "I'll make a deal with you two," he said. "It's a trade-off – this time it was our turn, next time it's yours. If you want to come to town and go on a shopping spree with Soph, Buck and I will look after the kids – you just need to make sure that we've got notice. And then the time after that… Buck and I get some more alone time. Deal?"

"Deal," Adriana said, shaking his hand. "So I'll be back in like… two months? And you can entertain _all_ the kids. Have fun; have so much fun. Where's the wine?"

As she went into the kitchen, Sophia tugged on Eddie's arm. "Did you guys have a nice, relaxing weekend?" she asked knowingly. "Caught up on some housework, watched movies, read books - that kinda thing?"

"You know it," he replied easily. "Buck and I are pretty boring."

"Yeah, right. I bet you couldn't wait to get home on Friday afternoon." Sophia gave him a knowing look. "Listen… I know it's been tough, but… we're not staying here permanently. I just need to get some money together."

"It's okay; you can stay as long as you like."

"I don't want to push the friendship," she replied, and laughed when he pulled her in for a hug. "Stop."

"You really think my husband, the man who loves being surrounded by kids, is going to want you to leave anytime soon?" Eddie asked her. "He loves it."

"Yeah, you married a good one," Adriana remarked, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen, and taking a swig of wine straight from the bottle. "Come on, Soph. Let's get trashed before dinner."

Eddie shook his head at them, and wandered into the living room to check on Buck – who had Christopher in his lap and all the kids gathered around him, listening to him tell them a story about the time Max broke out through an upstairs window and had to be rescued from the roof.

He leaned against the doorframe, gazing at the animated expression on Buck's face, and the way he had all the kids screaming with laughter, and thought, _it's time to have some more of our own._

~to be continued~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next fic will be the last of the "Cooper Arc", so if you're worried he's hanging around forever - don't be. 😉

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Kat ([cinematicnomad](https://cinematicnomad.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr) for all your help!
> 
> Title is from [Here Comes the Sun](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQetemT1sWc&ab_channel=TheBeatlesVEVO) by The Beatles
> 
> Talk to me @ Tumblr: [woodchoc-magnum](https://woodchoc-magnum.tumblr.com/) \- my inbox is open!


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